


Superflowers

by mayalice



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Flower Shop, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Healing is not linear, I promise, Lena Luthor Needs a Hug, Romance, Slow Burn, Therapy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:34:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 42,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25775935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mayalice/pseuds/mayalice
Summary: When a homework assignment from her therapist leads Lena to Kara's flower shop, she finds a lot more than just the houseplant she came for.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 188
Kudos: 566





	1. Chapter 1

National City welcomes her with a cold shoulder. No one wants her here. Not her board members, who take one look at her and decide she is too young and too female to know what she is doing. Not the press that still looks at her as an extension of her brother, waiting for her to fail. Not her neighbors who don't even bother to say good morning when they see her in the lobby, let alone send her welcome cookies.

Not even her own mother wants her here. She doesn’t vote against her, doesn’t go as far as trying to sabotage her appointment, but she also doesn’t miss an opportunity to make it clear that it has nothing to do with Lena’s skills. If there was any other way to keep the family’s hold on the company, her mother would have taken it. 

Truth be told, Lena doesn’t particularly want to be here either. She wasn’t supposed to be in this position. The throne was always Lex’s to take and Lena was supposed to collect all the right degrees, and wear all the right dresses, and find her way to shine without overshadowing her brother.

But Lex is no businessman. He is the smartest person Lena knows, brilliant and passionate with a mind overflowing with new inventions, but he didn’t expect to take control of the family company so soon. He likes the money and the glory and all nighters at the lab working on new projects. Not so much the paperwork and the long conference calls and handling the finance. 

He failed miserably. A few scandals (and a loss of millions) later, and he took off to god knows where and left Lena to deal with his mess. 

She is failing miserably. Investors are pulling away and sales numbers are down and Lena isn’t really sure why she even bothers. Why she doesn’t just let the company crash and burn and take the plane back to Metropolis.

She is not a quitter.

Lex trusts her. 

None of the above. 

The thing is, Lena is damn good at what she does. She was made for this job and she has every intention to prove it. While Lex spent his summers letting off steams with sports cars and yachts parties, Lena took internships at the best tech companies, learning, and shadowing and slowly getting more responsibilities. By the time she got her first Ph.D she already filled numerous positions in Luthor Corp and its daughter companies and moved to work on her own startup. Taking over the whole company was definitely a big step, but she doesn’t feel completely out of her element. In fact, there is a part of her that thinks this is where she is supposed to be. 

_

National City doesn’t feel like home. She spent years trying to get away, to leave behind her mother’s disapproval, and find her own place in the world. She didn’t think she would find herself back here so soon. 

It’s not that she doesn’t like it here. She missed how sunny it is all the time. Missed living a walking distance from a beach. But she misses Metropolis terribly. She misses Sam. She misses Jack. She misses her favorite coffee shop. She misses her old apartment and her old lab. She misses the Thai restaurant right across from her building. She misses working on her own ideas with no one to care if she fails. 

National City is lonely. 

She goes to work. She goes home. Repeat. And for the first couple of weeks, she is fine with just that. But as she begins to find her feet, getting some sort of appreciation from business associates and bringing people to her corner, slowly but surely, there is a sudden, nagging thought at the back of her head. 

_What’s the point?_

It’s not that she came back looking for friends. She has a company to run and a family legacy to save and you don’t do that by going out to bars or hosting Disney movie nights or whatever it is women her age are doing these days. She wouldn’t know. 

But still. There is this emptiness inside her she isn’t able to shake. 

Sam calls her twice a week. “Just checking you are still alive,” she says, half-jokingly, but Lena can hear the worry in her voice. 

“Oh, I’m sure you would know if I drop dead suddenly. The press would love that.”

“Don’t say that,” Sam protests, “besides, I thought they are warming up to you. That last article about the release of your new health watch was almost flattering.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“So, what’s really going on?”

At Sam’s advice, she goes and gets herself a gym membership. It helps for a while. She goes there first thing in the morning and gets her blood flowing for an hour, catching up on the news or on her favorite true-crime podcast as she runs on the treadmill. At the very least this is something to do. But as time goes by, it becomes more of a chore. She goes to the gym. She goes to work. She goes home. Repeat. 

Then she makes a habit of stopping at the bakery across the street for a fresh cup of coffee and a brownie (Or two). She goes to the gym. She gets coffee. She goes to work. She goes home. Repeat. 

She even tries taking a Yoga class, just to do something different. She hates every minute of it. It’s too slow. The instructor keeps telling them to focus on their breathing and stay in the moment and Lena’s thoughts keep running in a million different directions and she leaves the class more stressed than before. She doesn’t go back. 

Her days are mostly dull. She barely talks to anyone but her assistant. There are mountains of paperwork to go over and contracts to sign and Lena is lucky if she gets to see the inside of a lab.

She doesn’t sleep very well. She stays in her office until way past work hours and then she goes home and struggles to turn her mind off. 

She sleeps through her alarm once and doesn’t have time to do a workout and has to settle for the coffee in her office and she spends all day tired and irritated. 

She doesn’t answer Jack's calls. Or emails. Maybe because of how indifferent she felt to leave him behind, maybe because she is afraid the sound of his voice would make her longing worse. Not for him. Not really. But for a place she belonged. 

Maybe she’s just not ready to admit she made a mistake.

Sam flies over for a quick family visit and she takes one look at Lena before wrapping her in a tight hug. 

Lena has no idea what she did to deserve a friend like her. They go out to a bar in a part of the city she hasn’t been to in years, and their cocktails are just as good as the ones in Metropolis and Lena feels more at ease than she has in months.

(Sam leaves the next morning and Lena feels just as empty as before).

_

She flies over to surprise Sam on her birthday a month later. She makes a reservation to the best Sushi place in the city, and even Jack joins them for the evening and it’s surprisingly pleasant. Lena listens to the two of them talk about their project with an excitement she hasn’t felt in months. She really really missed it. 

It’s much later in the night, only the two of them on Sam’s couch, with a glass of wine in their hands, when Sam asks how she is doing, and the dam suddenly breaks. Lena isn’t completely sure why she is crying but she can’t seem to stop. Sam’s eyes are a mixture of alarm and worry, but she doesn’t say anything, just lets Lena cry, holding her lightly, like she is afraid any more pressure might break her.

In the morning Sam brings Lena her favorite coffee and asks, gently, if going to therapy is something she might be willing to consider. 

Her family doesn’t do therapy. Keeping all the messines to themselves is the unofficial Luthor family motto and Lena was raised to stock her feelings on imaginary shelves and pretend they don’t exist. 

She says she would think about it. 

She doesn’t.

Sam sends her a list of good, discreet therapists and Lena barely glances at it before deleting the email.

She doesn’t need therapy. 

She goes to the gym. She gets coffee. She goes to work. She goes home. Repeat. 

_

When she puts on her power suit and a pair of heels, Lena feels like a better, more capable version of herself. Work is where she can be cold and focused. Where she can ignore the feeling of ants crawling under her skin and throw herself into the motion of board meetings, and spreadsheets and merger negotiations. She is good at it. Words get around that Lena Luthor is learning from her brother’s mistakes and taking all the right steps to ensure a bright future for her company. (People also accuse her of being standoffish and aloof, but you can’t win them all, right? She can’t really blame her employees for stating the obvious, even if they are selling information about her to the tabloids). There is still an aching gap in her chest when she goes home at night. She feels restless. She can’t focus on the latest volume of Science Magazine. She is constantly hitting skip on her Spotify playlist. She spends hours staring at the TV before she can turn her mind off. She lets Sam's calls go to voicemail. 

She goes to the gym. She gets coffee. She goes to work. She goes home. She stares mindlessly at the TV. Repeat. 

_ 

“I’m not depressed.” 

Cat looks at her from behind a pair of fashionable glasses, unimpressed. She is supposed to be the best of the best. Her book is a worldwide bestseller and her office walls are plastered with diplomas from the finest psychology programs one can get into. 

This is not why Lena chose her. She stumbled on her Ted talk one night when she couldn’t sleep, and there was something about Cat’s attitude, the way she speaks and moves and doesn’t hesitate to call her patients out on their bullshit that made Lena think, _her, I need her._

She called her office the next morning. Her assistant insisted that Dr. Grant wasn't accepting new patients, but upon hearing Lena’s last name and her willingness to pay whatever it costs, there is suddenly just enough room in the schedule for Lena’s appointment.

She still doesn’t want therapy. The idea of letting someone pry into her mind, letting someone see the messy ways her thoughts are tangled and unhealthy coping mechanisms are keeping her from falling apart, is absolutely terrifying. 

Lena tries. She isn’t an open person, she isn’t good at talking about her feelings and it’s not like she feels anything these days other than this overwhelming emptiness. When she tells it to Cat her expression becomes suddenly serious and after inquiring some more, asks if there is anyone in her immediate family with mental illness, particularly, with depression.

Lena finds the whole thing ridiculous. She is Lena Luthor. She has money. She has friends. She has her company. What does she have to be depressed about? She had a rough few months, sure, but depression? that seems a little too far.

Reluctantly, she fills in all the questionnaires Cat gives her as honestly as she could and answers all of her questions with a determination to prove her wrong.

(She isn’t wrong.) 

She goes to the gym. She gets coffee. She goes to work. She goes to therapy once a week. She goes home. Repeat. 

For their next couple of sessions, every aspect of Lena’s life is carefully monitored and analyzed. Her work schedule. Her sleep. Her eating habits. 

She feels like a lab rat (and that means a lot coming from someone who actually owns lab rats). 

Cat sighs audibly when Lena hands her, her weekly report of 4 hours of sleep and coffee for dinner. She talks about developing healthy habits and how it’s supposed to help her feel better, and in her head, Lena knows she is right, she just can’t seem to bring herself to do any of that. 

Cat doesn’t seem discouraged by that information. She makes her plan her meals in advance and practically orders her to leave work at a reasonable hour, and gives Lena a guided meditation to do before bed.

It helps. The guided meditation gets on her nerves and there are still nights when Lena tosses and turns and just can’t sleep, but something about the combination of proper meals and less coffee and (a little) more sleep is doing her good. She feels a little less off-kilter. A little less like she is going to break at any given moment.

In one of their sessions Lena mentioned offhandedly that she didn’t do any decorating since she moved to National City almost four months ago, (did nothing to make her place feel more like home) and Cat grants her with a pointed gaze and sends her away with homework. 

Lena does pay the woman to tell her how to put her life back together, and this is why she is making her way to the nearest plants nursery the day after that session, so Cat could prove a point about how Lena needs to add more colors into her life or something in that spirit. 

The first thing Lena notices is a big sign that welcomes her to “Superflowers” with pink, sparkly letters. She sighs, rolls her eyes, and proceeds to step out of her car. This is going to be a quick errand, she promises herself, go inside, grab the first suitable plant, and go home. It’s not that she has something against plant nurseries per se, Lena likes nature as much as the average person does, but she was always a practical person. She likes to keep things simple, likes to keep her walls bare, and try not to clutter her drawers with anything too sentimental. Besides, she is never at home anyway, she doesn’t feel the need to fill her apartment with potted plants she would barely have time to enjoy anyway, not to speak about watering them. (Cat didn’t seem impressed with this logic, and Lena caved and agreed to look for a small, simple houseplant for her living room).

The second thing Lena notices is Kara. It’s late in the day, because this didn't feel like an important enough errand to leave work early for, (She half considered sending her assistant to do it for her, but even without giving Jess the full details, something about this felt too personal) but she guesses most people prepare to look at plants when there is still light outside since the room is mostly empty. (Lena is grateful for that).

The cash register area is empty, but a young woman is walking around the room with a pair of pruning shears, humming to herself as she takes care of the plants in front of her. The sight makes something deep in Lena’s stomach wake out of hibernation and opens one curious eye. The woman is wearing a tank top with the same logo Lena saw outside, displaying tan, muscular arms. She looks so caught up in her own little world, moving to the sound of nonexistent music, that Lena almost feels sorry to interrupt her. 

(Just almost).

The woman practically jumps when Lena clears her throat. Clearly surprised to see a customer at this hour, (Although the website said they are open until 9:30. Lena checked) but a wide smile spreads on her face when she sees Lena. 

"Welcome to Superflowers, my name is Kara, how can I help you?" Lena fights the urge to roll her eyes again. 

Kara seems friendly, if perhaps a little too enthusiastic for Lena's sake. (It's not her fault Lena is in a mood).

She smiles politely and lays her list of demands in front of Kara. Kara listens to her carefully, and when she raises her eyes to her, there is an intensity to her gaze Lena isn’t completely sure she isn’t imagining. She looks at Lena like she sees her, like she knows exactly why she is here, and then, with another wide smile, she motions her to follow her.

Kara leads her to a row of small potted plants at the center of the room. 

"These little ones are survivors. They barely need watering, and they can grow in pretty much any environment, so is there anyone in particular that speaks to you?"

Lena takes a look at the plants in front of her (Green. Boring). Any one of them can do the job. 

"You are the expert, what should I choose?" 

Kara moves a few strands of sun-kissed hair from her face and checks the options carefully before picking up a plant with big green leaves and white flowers and handing it to Lena.

"Perfect". 

Lena places it on a shelf in her living room and takes a picture just in case Cat would ask for a proof. 

(She does). 

She practically beams when she sees the picture of the small potted plant on the big, mostly empty shelf and says it’s a good start. 

_

There is no one more surprised than Sam when Lena asks her to join her on a shopping trip the next time she is there for business. (She is in National City so often lately that Lena begins to suspect she is coming all this way just to check on her). 

Sam overloads their cart with pillows and scented candles and all sorts of unnecessary items and even persuades Lena to buy a rocking chair. It’s way more than she intended to buy, but it’s not like she can’t afford it, and the truth is, she is having fun. 

By the end of the visit, Lena’s house is almost unrecognizable. There are beautiful art pieces on the (freshly painted) walls, a couple of candles are lit and spread a light scent of vanilla around the room, a salt lamp Lena fell in love with and Sam insisted she should buy keeps her Peace Lily company on the shelf, and her white, stiff couch is now covered with soft, colorful pillows.

It feels homey. 

She even let Sam post a picture of her covered in paint and laughing to her Instagram account. (“I love you, but if I see one more picture of you posing professionally on my feed I’m going to unfollow. People need to know you have a human side too”). Lena wanted to get a professional to paint the walls, but it's the weekend, and Sam is feeling nostalgic for her days as a broke student and insists knowing how to paint your own walls is a basic life skill. They both ended up exhausted and covered in paint. Lena nervously scrolls through the comments later, pleasantly surprised they are mostly positive. 

Even her publicist sends her the picture with a thumb up. 

_

She is having a bad day. 

There is a manufacturing defect in their new project, the life-saving technology that was supposed to take them out of rock bottom and win back the public opinion and the investors' money, and now Lena has no choice but to postpone the upcoming launch and do her best to keep the whole thing from the press. But there is nothing you can keep from Lillian Luthor, and Lena has to stomach ten minutes of her mother telling her how incompetent she is before she finds an excuse to hang up.

This is why when she finally gets home, and her eyes lay on her half-dry plant in her desperate search for Advil, she takes it a little too hard. 

She followed the watering instruction she got from the girl at the store closely, but Lena is incapable of doing anything right it seems because it clearly wasn’t enough. 

She should just throw the plant into the trash and buy herself a new one tomorrow. A Cactus maybe. 

But Lena is incapable of losing another battle today, so she carefully takes the pot off the shelf and into the back seat of her car and doesn’t stop to think before she is parking in front of the familiar sign of the store. 

If Kara is surprised to see her rushing in, still in her work clothes and heels, holding her dry plant to her chest like a wounded puppy, she doesn’t let it show.

She is alone in the store again, and there is no judgment in her eyes when she lays down the Nonogram she is working on and gets up to take a look. 

She takes the pot from Lena’s hands and examines it closely, digging her fingers into the soil and humming to herself approvingly. 

She grabs a pair of pruning shears and begins cutting the dry stalks, one by one until the plant looks green and healthy again. Or at least what little left of it.

“Here.”

She hands it back to Lena when she is done. “It looks like this little one is getting enough water, so I’m guessing the location might be the problem. Try moving him to a place where it can get indirect sunlight and he would be just fine. There is also a special soil I can give you if you want to give him some extra care.”

Now when she is holding her perfectly green plant in her hands Lena feels kind of foolish. 

“Thank you.” 

Kara smiles at her softly. “Anytime.”

“How much do I owe you?” She fishes her wallet out of her bag but Kara motions her to stop. 

“I don't take money for chopping a few dry stalks.” then she adds, “but I won’t stop you if you want to buy something.” She winks, “We just got these amazing chocolates if you are looking for a gift.”

With a smile, Lena grabs two boxes and hands Kara her credit card.

(She eats them all by herself).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so happy to finally start posting this story. I'm going to try to update weekly, but we will see how it goes. 
> 
> I don't have a beta reader yet (The job is yours if you want it😇) so I sincerely apologize for any mistakes I might have missed.
> 
> Come talk to me on [Tumblr!](https://mayalice18.tumblr.com/)


	2. Chapter 2

Her mother is hosting the company’s annual gala on Saturday night. Lena always hated these events, but as acting CEO, this is the kind of family obligation she can’t skip. It’s only one evening, she tells herself. But it’s her first official appearance since she took over the company, and Lena writes and rewrites her speech and shows up to the event almost an hour early. 

Her mother is already there, barking orders at the catering staff, and she gives Lena’s dress a disapproving look. She goes outside to get some air and go over her speech for what must be the thousand’s time when a pink van parks outside the hotel. She wonders for a moment if they missed the “parking for hotel guests only” sign when a woman exits the car and heads to the back to reveal a trunk filled with flowers. 

It's the girl from the store. Kara. Is she also the delivery girl? Don’t they have anyone else working there?

Kara takes as many flower arrangements as she can carry at once, and heads toward the entrance, coming to a halt in front of the closed door. Lena watches her struggle to free her hands for a second, before stepping to open it for her. 

“Thank you," Kara smiles at her gratefully, and her eyes flash with recognition when they land on Lena. 

"Oh, it’s you”

Kara's smile grows wider, and there is a long-forgotten feeling at Lena’s stomach when she meets Kara’s bright blue eyes. 

“Do you need a hand with that?” she gestures toward the flowers in Kara’s hands.

“Do you mind?” she looks at Lena’s dress and ridiculously high heels like she is doubting she has the right outfit for the mission. 

“I offered” 

Kara exhales in relief. 

“Great. Because I think dropping everything on the floor would seriously damage my tip” 

Lena laughs and takes a couple of baskets from her hands. 

“So how is Mr. Plant doing?” Kara asks when they head back to get the rest of the flowers. 

Lena feels her face turning red when she remembers their last interaction.

“Good. He is doing well” 

Kara grants her with a shiny smile. 

“Thank you for being so nice to me that day. I was… having a hard time” 

Lena isn't sure what made her say it. It's not like she owes Kara an explanation. But there is something about Kara that makes Lena wants to give it anyway. 

“It was nothing, I was just doing my job”

“Still. “

They are quiet for a while after that, focus on the task ahead.

Eventually, all the flower arrangements are delivered safely into the hands of the event planner, (Who gives Lena a weird look but thankfully doesn’t say anything) and they stand awkwardly in the middle of the hotel lobby, unsure of how to end their interaction. 

“I should probably go,” Kara says after a long silence. “I left my sister alone at the store and she can’t tell the difference between an anemone and a poppy” she laughs at that, and Lena catches sight of a dimple on her left cheek. 

“Thanks for your help. It was nice running into you…” 

“Lena” 

Kara beams at her. 

“Have a nice evening Lena” 

“You too”. 

_

The evening turns out better than expected. She gets through her speech without stumbling on her words even once and earns warm applause from the crowd and a small, almost unnoticeable, nod of approval from her mother. The hard part is over after that. She had years of practice in these kinds of events, and Lena mastered how to smile and nod and make the other person feel important. And if she lets her thoughts wander to certain blue eyes when Maxwell Lord goes on and on about himself and the possibility of Lord technology and Luthor-corp collaboration, no one needs to know. 

_

There is a text from an unknown number waiting for her when she checks her phone on her way home. 

_Nice speech sis_

_

She hasn’t heard from Lex in months. Not since that late night call where he begged her to step up and take his place. She said she would think about it, and that they would talk more in the morning when he is sober, and woke up to a dozen missed calls from her mother, and the news that somewhere during the night Lex took the company jet and disappeared off the map. Mother sent a private investigator after him, of course, so Lena knew he is, in fact, alive and huddles away in one of the family’s summer houses, trying to take the edge off his failure with day time drinking and the kind assistance of the local women. She sent him a few not so subtle postcards over the last few months, arguing him to get his acts together, but got no response. This is the first time he reaches out to her. She isn’t sure what to make of it. 

There is a part of her that still wants nothing more than to make her big brother proud. But she is still mad at him for leaving her alone in this mess, still mad at him for leaving, period, and as much as getting a compliment from Lex makes the little girl in her happy, she is mostly just frustrated. 

Lena is still trying to sort out her feelings by the time for her therapy appointment two days later, and Cat has this look on her face like she is getting closer to unlock some mystery when she asks Lena question after question about Lex.

Lex has always been mom’s favorite. She always had to work twice as hard to get her attention, to get the best grades and the perfect record and she still found things to complain about. 

“Mothers tend to have a more complicated relationship with their daughters than with their sons,” Cat says. Coming from her, it feels like an understatement. Cat Grant has built a good deal of her empire by talking publicly about her estranged mother. 

But Lena doesn’t want to talk about Lillian. (She has two more meetings in the afternoon and she isn’t wearing waterproof mascara) Lex is a much safer topic. Or so she thinks. 

Lena never resented him for their mother’s favoritism. Despite their age difference they always had a good relationship. She used to love hanging out in his room, building robots, or helping him out in whatever project he was working on and listening to him as he rambled excitedly about his newest passion. There was undoubtedly an air of competition between them, but Lex’s teasing didn't have the same bite as Lillian’s judgmental gaze. He always had her back. He challenged her to be better, to defy her own limits. He was Lena’s biggest supporter. Her best friend. Her rock. 

Then he left a stain on their father’s life work and took off, leaving Lena to deal with it all alone. 

“Did it take you by surprise, when you heard what happened?”

If Lena is being completely honest with herself, the answer is no. Things changed between them after their father died. She came back for the funeral and they spent a couple of days drinking from Lionel’s Whiskey collection and trading their favorite memories of him, but she had a Ph.D. to finish and a company to build and her support system was all the way back in Metropolis. The thought of spending any more time at the Luthor Mansion made her skin crawl. Lex didn’t ask her to stay. But maybe she should have anyway, even if he didn't want her help. She knows now how terrifying and overwhelming and stressful this job can be. Lex was still grieving, and he was swamped with board meetings and big decisions, and the dark circles under his eyes got bigger and bigger every day. Maybe if she stayed in the city and made sure he eats and sleeps and listens to the right people, things would have been different. 

“You feel responsible” Cat states. 

“Of course I feel responsible” 

“And why is that?” Cat’s gaze is challenging. 

“Because he is my brother, and I could see that he is struggling, but I chose to leave anyway” 

“Lena” Cat uncrosses her legs and looks at Lena seriously, “Your brother is a grown man. He made his own decisions. People much younger and less qualified than him have managed not to make the same mistakes. Or at the very least manage not to run away when things fall apart. Unfortunately, we can’t control how we feel, but if you ask me, blaming yourself for not being there to hold his hand seems like a glorious waste of energy”. 

“I was relieved,” Lena says quietly. “When I heard what happened. When I heard he failed” 

Cat’s expression doesn’t change. 

“I spent my whole life trying to prove I’m worthy of this job, and it fell right into Lex’s lap. Our father left everything to him, and he didn’t even want it.” 

“It must have been hard, feeling like you are not being appreciated the way you deserve”. 

“Lex always made everything look easy. He partied every weekend and was still at the top of his class. He hates galas as much as I do, but he always knew how to charm mother friends. It was never like that for me. No matter how hard I worked, I always felt like I’m running behind, barely managing to touch Lex’s ankles.” 

“And look at you now. Thriving where he failed"

_

When Lena goes home that night, she settles on the couch with a mug of Coffee (And to hell with Cat’s “no coffee after 9 pm” rule) and dials the number Lex Texted her from. 

“Hi sis” hearing his voice for the first time in months fills Lena’s gut with warmth. She can already feel all her guilt and anger shrinking to make space for a familiar feeling. God, she missed him. 

“So you are alive. I was starting to worry you fell off your yacht. You've always been a poor swimmer” 

Lex chuckles. 

“I’m glad you called”

“I’m surprised you answered” 

She was half expecting to get his voicemail again. 

“I saw your speech” 

“I know. Turns out you do get Wi-Fi in the Bahamas. I wasn't sure, since you didn’t answer any of my emails” 

“The postcards were a nice touch. I especially liked the one where you told me to grow a pair”

They both laugh and Lena can feel a pressure lifting off her chest. 

“Look-” She can picture him sitting on the porch with a bottle of beer, and watching the waves rise and fall. 

“I know I’ve been… absent lately. But it seems like you handle things pretty well without me” there is a pinch of bitterness in his voice. 

“Is that a compliment?” 

“Don’t let it go to your head”

Lena sighs. 

“I could have really used your help, you know?” She isn’t ready to let him off the hook just yet. 

“The past few months haven't been exactly easy. The board was far from welcoming, and with all the mess you left me to clean up and mother breathing down my neck- ” 

“I’m sorry” 

“What?”

“You heard me the first time” she can hear the smile in his voice, “I said I’m sorry” 

“Lex Luthor apologizing? There must be something really special in the Caribbean air, maybe I should book myself a vacation” 

“What can I say? I’m a new man” Lex chuckles “But to be fair, I wouldn’t have left you in this position if I thought you couldn’t handle it” 

Lena lets his words wrap around her body like a cozy blanket. 

_

Lena wakes up the next morning feeling lighter than she had in months. She doesn’t rush through her after workout shower like she usually does, and takes the time to put on a hair mask and give a much needed attention to her sore shoulders. She is tapping her fingers to the beat of the music while she waits for her coffee order, and when the barista hands her the espresso with the usual- “Have a good day”, there is a sense of warmth to the greeting that wasn’t there before. Or maybe Lena simply hasn’t been paying attention. If she slips a few bills into the tip jar while the woman isn't looking, well, call her sentimental.

Even her assistant seems to notice her good mood. She hired Jess after Lex's former assistant proved to be more interested in asking questions about her brother’s whereabouts than doing her job. _Classic._ It took three days of infertile interviews, and a threat to fire whoever it is in HR that kept sending her women with tape recorders and very little interest in the position (How many times she can say “no comment” for the press to leave her alone?) to find Jess. She lacked the necessary experience, but she had a very good reference from one of Lena’s old college professors, and Lena had a hunch about her. She was pleased to find out Jess is hardworking and eager to please and she handled all of her responsibilities without a hitch. The woman, however, has always been slightly nervous around Lena. She did her best to get the girl comfortable, but Jess it seems, is the anxious type (something Lena can definitely sympathize with) and while her nerves had certainly calmed down since she first started, she still always seemed a little tense. 

Today, however, Jess's posture seems calmer than usual when she walks Lena through her schedule, and there is a new sense of ease to their interaction throughout the day. She hovers at Lena’s door on her way out for her lunch break, and instead of asking Lena if she wants her to bring her her usual from Noonan's, she is mumbling something about going to check out a new Chinese restaurant with another coworker and asking Lena if she wants to come too.

The no, is at the tip of Lena’s tongue (she is the boss, she can’t just go out and eat greasy food with her assistant, can she?) but her eyes wander to the twenty open tabs on her computer screen, Cat’s words on taking proper breaks ringing in her ears. Her lack of interest to spend another lunch break at her desk wins in the end, and she finds herself crossing the street with Jess and her chatty IT friend, and trying to push through the feeling of awkwardness. 

The food smells amazing and after they pass the small talk Lena starts to feel more at ease. Felicity shows an enthusiastic interest in the Nanobots project Lena was working on in Metropolis, and somehow she finds herself telling them about the time she and Lex almost blew up the garage in a Robot's fights that went out of control (Felicity seems delighted. Jess looks absolutely horrified) and she ended up having a really nice time. 

_

“Are you replacing me with a cute new IT girl?” Sam teases when they speak that evening.

“What can I say, she likes Robots. It’s everything a girl can dream of. I think she might be BFF material. Though I’m pretty sure she ambushed Jess to make this lunch happen. She seems a little... overeager to talk to me. But in a sweet, non-stalkery way? Jess looked a little embarrassed”. 

“Poor girl”

“I don’t think she would ever be able to look at me that same way after she saw me in a full geek mood” 

“I think it’s good that you are making new friends.“ Sam says, her voice suddenly serious. “You sound… better.” 

“I am,” Lena says.

“I…” she starts, hesitantly. “I’m seeing a therapist” 

She can hear Sam exhales in surprise over the line. 

“I’m glad, I was worried you would be too stubborn to try it”

“I have been” she admits, “but I decided to give it a chance, and I think it’s helping” 

“Good.” sam says. “I’m glad you told me. I really miss you. It’s hard to look out for you when you are so far away”

“I miss you too” 

_

Lena doesn’t really need to buy pruning shears. She can cut a few dry leaves just fine with the simple pair of scissors she keeps at her kitchen. But she rarely does things halfway, and using the proper tools feels important somehow. She started making a habit of going out of her office for her lunch break, and her favorite sushi place is just around the corner from “Superflowers”, and it seems like just as good of a reason as any to make the trip. 

She finds the store empty, and after taking a look around the room, Lena steps outside to the small greenhouse in the back. It’s the first time she is there in daylight, and she can't help but be mesmerized by the sight. Bright, colorful flowers fill every inch of space, apart from a narrow aisle in the middle, where she finds Kara standing with a frown on her face. 

She isn’t alone. There is an older woman with her, who Lena assumes is Kara’s mother. Her face is pale and blond, downy hair picks out underneath her wide-brimmed hat. Her hands are covered in thick garden gloves and she is digging into the soil and plucking out weeds under Kara’s watchful gaze. 

Kara’s expression softens when she sees Lena, though the wrinkle in her forehead is still there, and she glances back at her mother every few seconds like she is afraid she is going to slip and fall. 

“Your mom?” Lena asks after the third time Kara stops her explanation about the best kind of pruning shears to Lena’s needs, to look outside. 

Kara nods. “The doctor told her to take it easy, but she is stubborn.” There is a small smile at the corner of Kara’s lips. 

“She said she would fire me if I keep looking so worried”. 

Lena offers her a sympathetic smile. Her father was just as stubborn when he got sick. 

She leaves the store with a new set of pruning shears, a large box of chocolate she plans to leave in the office break room, and a beautiful water lily to put on her desk. (Kara caught her looking at it and insisted she should buy it, and Lena found it’s very hard to say no to her pleading eyes). 

_ 

When Lena heads back to her office after a meeting with RD that got a little longer than expected two days later, she is surprised to see Kara stepping into the elevator, holding a big bouquet. It’s very unlikely for the owner to do the deliveries themselves, right? The night of the gala must have been an exception. But here she is, looking cute in long, black overalls, and a simple white T-shirt with the store logo underneath, and although it’s just the two of them in the relatively big elevator, Lena feels like she is running out of air.

And it’s ridiculous, really because it’s hardly the first time she sees Kara, but somehow it feels different than seeing her in the safety of open space and dozens of potted plants to hide behind. It feels suffocating. Kara doesn’t notice her at first, occupied in figuring out the right button to press, and Lena orders herself to get her acts together. 

“Hey!” Kara’s whole face lights up when she finally notices her, and it sends waves of something dangerous down Lena’s spine. She gives Kara a nod of acknowledgment, accompanied by a warm smile, that she hopes makes up for the fact that she momentarily lost the ability to speak. _Get it together Luthor,_ she orders herself. It’s not like it’s the first time she finds herself alone in the company of someone she is nursing a crush on. But it’s been so long ago that the feeling is almost foreign to her now. 

“It’s nice to see you again,” Kara says. 

Thankfully Lena manages to find her voice and answers with a genuine “You too”. Kara grins widely to that. 

There is an awkward silence after that, and she finds herself wishing her office was at a lower level. Ten more floors of this feel like a test to her mental state. 

She is searching her mind for something to say and eventually settles on “Are you usually doing deliveries?” because she is honestly curious. 

Kara’s face turns incredibly pink. 

“Sometimes. Maggie and James handle most of them, but I help out when I can”. 

Lena has a strong feeling she isn’t telling her the whole truth, but she doesn’t let herself dwell on it too much. Kara is most definitely not there just because she was hoping to run into her, right? 

The elevator doors open eventually, but Kara shows no sign of moving. 

“Isn't it your floor?”

Kara blushes noticeably and launches forward to stop the doors from closing. 

“Oh. Yes, thank you.”

She turns to Lena before stepping outside like she wants to say something, but after ten seconds of loaded silence, she just wishes her a good day and walks out. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come talk to me 😊  
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	3. Chapter 3

By the time Lena tells Sam about the elevator incident, she is half convinced she hallucinated the whole thing.

“So are you telling me that the girl you like possibly likes you back, and you are not planning to do anything about it?”

She can feel Sam’s glare all the way across the country. 

“Sam” she pleads. She didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. But Sam doesn’t seem to have mercy on her today. 

“And don’t tell me you are still hung up on Jack because you and I both know it couldn’t be farther than the truth. I’m so happy you two had the sense to end things before I had to be caught up in the messy divorce”

Lena sighs. Sam knows her too well. It’s not that she doesn't miss him. Jack was easy and comfortable and he made her feel at home and in another life, Lena could see herself marry him and have three kids and a successful company together. But Jack had always been a good friend more than he was anything else. There were love and respect between them, but there was no real spark. And they probably carried on with it longer than they should have.

“I would have got you in the divorce, right?” 

“Only if you get to keep the house in Paris” Sam answers playfully. 

Lena has fond memories from the summer the three of them spent there. It’s where they first came up with the idea to open a company together. 

After they finish discussing hypothetical prenups, and Lena promises Jack would have to take the yacht keys out of her cold dead hands, Sam is done letting Lena avoid her question. 

“What is it really?” She asks softly. 

The knot in Lena’s stomach tightens as she tries to mentally search for its source. 

“I've never really done this whole dating thing” she admits, embarrassment coloring her cheeks. “I have no idea what I’m doing” 

It’s not the whole truth, but it would do for now. 

She and Jack just sort of fell into a relationship after three years of working closely. And before that, there was the whole Andrea disaster, which included years of mutual pining and drunk makeouts before either of them was brave enough to do anything about it. 

“You've never run a Fortune 500 company before and you're doing just fine” Sam points out. 

_Fine_ is not exactly the way Lena would have described it. _Hanging in there_ , maybe. She sighs. 

“I don’t even know if she likes women”

“I think the fact that she went out of her way just for a chance to see you is quite telling. But you know, you can always ask her. Or stalk her on Instagram like a normal person”

“We don’t know she was really there for me,” Lena protests “there could be a million other reasons-”

“Stop overthinking everything, Luthor. You said she was happy to see you, so, just reach out to her and see where it’s going. Even if she is not interested in you like that, which I highly doubt, it would be nice to have a friendly face in the city, right?”

Lena takes a big gulp of her wine. Because Sam is right, and she hates it when Sam is right. Because now she doesn’t get to keep going with her life and push these inconvenient feelings into a forgotten junk drawer at the back of her mind. She is going to have to face them like an adult. Yuck. 

_

Two glasses of wine later, Lena decides to follow her curiosity and opens the Instagram app on her phone. Which is when she realizes she has no idea what Kara’s last name is. Fine, this was a bad idea anyway. She is about to close the app and call it a night, but the tingle in her fingers has a mind of its own and she finds herself opening google instead. Finding the Superflowers website is fairly easy. The about page doesn’t have the information she is looking for, but there is an Instagram icon at the bottom and Lena clicks on it with a feeling of triumph. 

And there it is. it’s not Kara’s personal account, just the business page of the store, but it’s a start. Most of the pictures feature the different plants the shop has to offer, but the store employees are making a few guest appearances here and there, holding flowers and doing goofy faces to the camera. The last picture on the page is from a few days ago. Kara has one arm wrapped around her mother’s shoulder, and a woman she assumes is Kara’s sister is doing the same on the other side. All three of them are holding sunflowers and grinning at the camera. The caption says “Stronger together”. Lena likes the photo before she can think better on it, and finally goes to bed. 

When she turns off her alarm in the morning there is an Instagram notification waiting for her. 

_@Karalovespotstickers started following you._

_

She has back to back meetings all morning, and Lena finds herself counting the minutes until her lunch break. 

She waits for Jess to leave the office before she settles on the couch and finally opens Kara's Instagram page. She tells herself it doesn’t mean anything. People stalk each other online all the time, right? But she never did that before. She never wanted to know someone so badly that it warrants falling into the rabbit hole of social media. She was Lena Luthor, people wanted to get to know her, not the other way around. It feels like crossing into dangerous territory. Like opening a door that might be better left untouched. Starting something she has no idea how to finish.

She doesn’t know what she expects to find exactly. There is a part of her that hopes that Kara is one of those people who present themselves differently on social media. Perhaps she would turn out to be just another person who seeks money and attention. Another person who only took interest in Lena because of who she is. It would be so much easier to find another wannabe influencer and forget about this stupid crush. But there is no great mystery uncovered when she finally scrolls through Kara’s pictures. There isn’t even one picture of a green smoothie (or any kind of food that would be featured in a typical “What I eat in a day” video), and Lena lets out a breath of relief. It’s just a normal Instagram page. Just a collection of moments from Kara’s life. 

There are a lot of pictures of food, though. True to her handle, about a third of Kara’s page is just a record of her hunt for the best potstickers in the city (The ones from the food market downtown are currently at the top of the list). She learns that Kara eats way too much junk food for a person that fit, and her comments section tells her she is on a first-name basis with most of the restaurant owners in the area. The rest of the pictures take Lena a little bit off guard. There is nothing particularly remarkable about them. They are just pictures of Kara, hanging out with friends and family, but maybe that’s the point. It’s not the perfectly posed and filtered photos Lena is used to seeing on her home page. They are not taken to impress anyone. In fact, in most of the pictures, Kara seems completely unaware of the camera. They are just memories. Kara, in the middle of a Twister game, grinning at the camera as she tries to keep holding her body in an unnatural position. Kara, her face wrinkled in concentration as she tries to remove a block from an unstable looking Jenga tower. Kara, standing on the stage of a Karaoke bar with a microphone in hand. It makes Lena’s stomach twist uncomfortably, makes her feel like an intruder, even though Kara’s profile isn’t even private, and the pictures are out there for the world to see. 

It’s so different from the well-crafted profile Lena owns. It’s not as bad as Lex’s profile, or any of the other people in her circles that practically scream “I’m a privileged billionaire” with every picture, but it does serve as a collection of her accomplishments. She crafted a version of herself she wanted the world to see, the brilliant, confident woman she hoped would shine through the screen. Her own pathetic way of screaming look at me, I’m good enough. There are the occasional nights out with Sam and Romantic dinners with Jack, but it mostly just pictures of graduations and Ted talks and trophies. It’s not like she spent a lot of time setting up the lighting and playing with filters, but the pictures are there to serve a certain narrative, to create an illusion, a version of her that only exists when you put the spotlight on the major milestones and leave everything else in the dark. 

She feels self-conscious all of a sudden. What did Kara think when she saw her profile? Why did she follow her? 

Somewhere in the distance, the elevator opens, indicating that Jess is coming back with their lunch, and Lena follows Kara back and puts her phone aside. 

_

She has a meeting in Metropolis on Wednesday, and Sam drags her to a new dive bar to watch one of their friends from grad school perform with her band. “The Legends” are not half bad (Or maybe it’s just whatever it is in the glass Sam keeps refilling for her) and it’s nice to see Ava again and after they finish catching up on each other’s lives, they end up by the pool table. Ava is terrible, but her girlfriend is good, and Lena spends the next hour playing against Sara while Sam and Ava cheer from their place on the leather couch. 

Sam‘s phone is pointed at her when she takes her winning shot, and she is uploading the video to her Instagram page while they set the table for a rematch. Drunk from her (double) victory, Lena presses the “add this to your story” button, allowing herself to be brave and carefree for one night. 

She has five texts from her mother waiting for her when she wakes up the next morning. 

Somewhere during the night, Sara posted a reaction to the video, saying something about being a sore loser, but that it was an honor to play against a true Legend *winky face*, and there are screencaps of their exchange all over twitter. Lillian isn’t happy about it (She never liked Lance very much). Her publicist lectures her about appearance and how her choice for a night out doesn’t help to separate her from Lex’s party boy image, but Lena couldn’t care less because somewhere in the sea of notification on her phone there is a DM message from Kara. 

It’s a simple Star-Struck emoji in reaction to her story and Lena stares at it for a long hour, unsure of what to make of it. Sam has a knowing look in her eyes when she asks why she is smiling so early in the morning and Lena closes the app and refuses to give her any details.

It’s not like she has anything to report anyway. It still doesn’t mean anything. Right?

_

It’s a slow, hesitant dance. 

On Monday, a photographer from CatCo magazine comes to her office to take her picture for an article about young women in business. She takes a couple of pictures of Lena in the labs, and in front of the Luthor- Corp logo, but Lena’s favorite is a simple shot of her, sitting at her desk with her new plant in full view. 

She posts the picture to her Instagram page once the issue is out, and Kara comments she is happy to see Miss Lily is in good hands. 

The next Friday, Kara posts a ridiculous video of her doing the chubby bunny challenge to the sound of her laughing friends, with what seems like at least seven marshmallows stuffed into her mouth. Lena is torn between the urge to lecture her about how stupidly dangerous it is to the way her heart melts in complete adoration.

_I’m not sure if I should be impressed or make sure your friends know CPR_

_My sister goes to med school so I’m in good hands_ 😊

 _And wait until you see my record_ 😉

It goes on for a while. Lena likes every new picture Kara posts. Kara in return reacts to Lena’s stories with heart eyes and a variety of flower emojis. Sometimes she comments. Sometimes Lena does. Sometimes they start a friendly argument about whether or not a pasta salad counts as a salad. Their little interaction becomes the highlight of Lena’s day, she cherishes every piece of information she learns about Kara, as small and insignificant they might be, and she finds she is looking forward to the next time she hears from her. Sam raises an eyebrow on the sudden increase in her social media presence, but Lena shrugs and deflects her questions every single time. 

(It’s still nothing). 

_

She contemplated sending Kara an actual message a few times but decided against it after a few minutes of staring at her screen with no idea what to write. Kara doesn’t give her any sign that she wants to take this any further, and Lena wonders if this is it. It’s fine, really. She doesn’t know if she wants more than this. Doesn’t know if she has anything else to offer. There is comfort in where they are now, this back and forth of likes and smiley faces, and maybe Lena isn’t ready for whatever it is that comes next. 

_

Cat clicks her tongue in disapproval. 

Lena spent the past ten minutes trying to explain why it’s probably for the best if she won’t try to reach out to Kara. The reasons sound logical in her head. She is a busy woman. She simply doesn’t have the time and energy a new relationship requires. She has no room in her life for someone else. But Cat wears her “that’s a lot of bullshit” expression, her eyes piercing right through Lena’s pretense. 

“Look Lena, you are not here just so I could get enough money to redecorate my summer house, as much as it sounds lovely. I could lie to you and tell you you are absolutely right, and that there is nothing you can gain from starting a new relationship right now, but that would be a waste of both of our times” 

Lena opens her mouth to disagree but Cat gives her a pointed look and she lets her continue. 

“I would be a lousy therapist if I let you leave this session thinking a couple of likes on Instagram can be a substitute for a true connection.”

Cat’s eyes say exactly what she thinks of anyone who would dare to call her lousy. 

“Did it warm my ego when Lois Lane tweeted about my book? Of course. Do I do a little happy dance every time Diana Prince likes one of my tweets? absolutely. But I don’t delude myself in thinking that I know anything about these people, or that they know anything about me. If you really don’t want to get to know this girl, and you are okay with only being a bystander in her life, that’s fine. But If you want to give yourself a chance at something real, you need to stop being a coward and do something about it”. 

_

_Hi, I know it’s a little forward of me, but do you want to maybe have lunch with me sometime this week? If this is completely awkward and out of the blue feel free to ignore this, but I just moved back to the city and you seem nice and I could really use a friend_

Lena frowns. That’s not going to work. 

_Hi, would you like to go out with me sometime?_

She stares at the screen for a whole ten minutes before deleting it as well. 

_Hi, how are you?_

That should be fine. Neutral. It leaves Kara a room to continue the conversation or end it politely if she isn’t interested. Her finger hovers over the send button, but for some, unknown reason, she can't bring herself to press it.

Lena sinks back into the couch, forcing herself to take a deep breath. She can’t do this. What's the point in starting something when it's doomed to failure anyway?

What can she possibly give to someone like Kara? Bright, sunny, Kara, who gives names to her plants and eats like it’s a competitive sport and looks at Lena like she somehow sees her. Lena doesn’t want to be a burden. Doesn’t want to taint another person with her darkness. It’s not fair toward them. It’s selfish. Kara can do a lot better than her.

She doesn't send it. She deletes the stupid app and stares at the ceiling until her brain is too exhausted to keep ruminating and she finally gives in to sleep. 

_

The next few weeks are a blur of meetings and interviews before the launch of the new L-model, and Lena is the first to enter the office in the morning and the last to leave at night. She is bone tired by the time she crawls back into bed to steal a few hours of sleep, but she welcomes the distraction from the ever growing void in her chest. 

She rejects Jess’s lunch invitations and tries not to fall asleep as she goes over her notes in preparation for her next meeting. She gives up and takes a power nap on the office couch a couple of times, and wakes up disoriented and sweaty, her heart pounding loudly in her chest. 

She doesn’t think about Kara. Except sometimes when she lies awake at night, her brain decides to play all their interaction on a loop. Lena analyzes them from every single angle, she breaks apart Kara’s facial expression, and catalogs all the messages she sent her by dates and emoji meanings, and still can’t find a satisfying answer.

It becomes infinitely harder to stick to her routine. Days and nights blend together, and Lena doesn’t remember the last time she ate an actual meal. Thankfully, Cat doesn’t let her cancel their next session when an hour off feels like a luxury Lena can’t afford, and after a lecture about getting her priorities straight, she helps her decide which parts of her routine are non-negotiable. She definitely groans a little when she drags herself out of bed to do a quick home workout, but she feels more alive afterward, and by the time she showers and gets some food into her system she feels more ready to face the day. 

She works out. She goes to work. She goes to therapy. She goes home. She takes care of her plants. Repeat. 

_

She downloads the Instagram app again, because there is really no need to be this dramatic, but so far she managed to suppress the urge to check Kara’s profile. It’s not like she has the time for it anyway. But the launch comes and goes without a hitch, and Lena still ignores the little pink symbol on her phone as if the simple act of clicking on it has the power to open a box that should be kept under lock and key. 

(Hope is a dangerous thing). 

_

“Look Lena,” Cat tells her in their next meeting, “I’m not a fortune teller. So I can’t promise you everything is going to turn out the way you want, but neither do you”. 

“You are working under the assumption that things are going to end up badly.” She continues in a softer voice “and they might. Maybe she won’t be interested. Maybe you have nothing in common. Maybe she is going to break your heart. Maybe she eats with her mouth open and thinks the earth is flat. But you can’t know any of that unless you try. Relationships end. People leave. Some things aren’t meant to last. You can wear your big girl pants and take your chances, or you can let it paralyze you and stay right where you are. Don’t get me wrong, I can certainly see the comfort in it, but you won’t be here today if you didn’t need something to change, am I right?”

But Lena’s limbs are nothing but an iceberg at this point. She isn’t sure she knows how to move even if she wanted to. Even if she wasn’t so terrified. She doesn’t need people. She should keep her heart guarded. Her doors locked. 

She remembers growing up lonely and isolated. Remembers working herself to exhaustion and still never feeling good enough. She remembers being the new girl in boarding school and clinging to the first person who showed her any kind of attention just to be tossed aside, used, and heartbroken and wonder what is it about her that makes her so hard to love. 

This feeling never went away. Not after she got into her first-choice college and started carving her own path. Not after Andrea. Not after Sam and Jack and all those sleepless nights in the lab. There is still a part of her that thinks this is just temporary. A part of her that counts the minutes until it’s all going to fall apart. And maybe it’s for the best. Maybe if she won’t let herself get too close, it would hurt less when they leave her. Because Andrea left, and Jack let her go, and Lex ran away, and it’s only a matter of time before Sam finds someone new and forget all about her and Lena would be left all alone again. 

Cat gives her homework to list all the things she thinks make her worth keeping. (All the things that make her good enough). Lena tries, but she was never one for journaling (it was more Lex’s thing), and everything she comes up with sounds silly in her head. She stares at the blank page for a long hour before giving up. 

_

“You are not Kara” 

Lena isn’t completely sure what she is doing here. One moment she was heading home for the night and in the other, she found herself parking in front of a familiar store sign. She considered turning around and pretending this minor slip in her judgment never happened, but avoiding the problem got her nowhere so far. She needs more data. She needs to add a new row to her mental spreadsheet, needs to see Kara again before she decides how to process from here. 

But Kara isn’t here. The woman behind the counter is familiar, though it’s the first time Lena sees her in person.

“Sorry to disappoint,” her lips curl into an amused smile.

“No, I’m sorry that was rude” she hurries to make up for her first impression “I’m just used to seeing Kara here”. 

The woman eyes her suspiciously, and Lena gets the impression that she is being scanned with X-ray vision, but whatever conclusion she gets to, she keeps to herself. 

“It’s okay. I’m Alex. Kara left early today, but I’m here to help with everything you need. I’m not quite a flower whisperer like my sister, but I know my way around plants, so you can trust me, really”. 

Lena raises an eyebrow to that, remembering Kara’s comment about leaving her sister alone at the store. 

“I guess I’d just have to take your word for it”

Alex chuckles. 

“How can I help you?”

Lena hasn't thought this part through. She didn’t bother coming up with an excuse in her hurry to see Kara. And okay, it’s not like she owes anyone an explanation, maybe she just felt an urge to buy a new plant at nine pm on a Friday, but Alex looks at her expectedly and Lena finds herself scraping her mind for a proper reason. 

“I’m looking for a gift,” she says eventually. Jess's birthday is coming up next week and while Lena already arranged for her to get a generous bonus in her upcoming paycheck, it would be nice to have something to give her on the day itself. 

True to her word, Alex knows her way around the store, even if she lacks Kara’s sixth sense, and Lena ends up buying another Aquatic plant that would look lovely on Jess’s desk, and two boxes of the Chocolate truffle she noticed Jess liked the last time she brought them to the office. 

Alex's mouth makes a small ‘o’ shape when she swipes Lena’s credit card and her full name appears on her screen, but Lena can’t tell if she simply recognized her as CEO of Luthor-Corp, or if perhaps Kara told her about her. She thinks there is a knowing gaze in the woman’s eyes when she wishes Lena a good evening that suggests the latter, but maybe it’s just wishful thinking.

_

Lena makes a point to spend half an hour going over some of the work she took home before she changes into her sleep clothes and opens Instagram on her phone. She spends a couple more minutes answering a message from a young fan, before clicking on Kara’s new story. 

It’s Friday night, which is when Kara usually meets her friends for game night (not that Lena is stalking her or anything, she is just good at noticing patterns), and in retrospect, that’s probably why she wasn’t at the store earlier. (And definitely not because she had a hot date to get to, which is kind of a relief, even if Lena has no right to have any opinion on that matter). 

It looks like they are playing Charades tonight. Kara is trying to act out something that could be either a Kangaroo or a frog, and definitely doesn’t remind Lena of any movie she saw, but her sister is quick to guess right, and they embark on a silly victory song to the loud groans of their friends. 

The loneliness at the pit of Lena’s stomach makes herself known. Kara’s laugh echoes in the quiet of her apartment and Lena closes the app without leaving a comment. 

“Do you think I am a good friend?” 

She can hear a distant sound of music and chatter on the other side of the line, before Sam’s confused voice answers, “Lena? is everything okay?”

“Forget it” 

_This was a bad idea._ “You are in the middle of something, I’ll call you tomorrow”. 

But Sam must hear something in her voice because she doesn’t hang up. 

“It’s fine. It’s nothing important. Just let me go somewhere quiet and I’m with you, okay?” 

“Okay”

She can hear Sam excuses herself and makes her way outside. 

“Okay, I can talk now, what’s up?”

Lena repeats her question.

“Am I a good friend?”

“Of course,” Sam says without skipping a beat, “what makes you ask that?”

“Even when I call you on Friday night with weird questions?” she asks in a tiny voice. 

Sam chuckles. 

“Especially when you do that,” she says fondly. 

“Can you tell me why?”

“Why do I think you're a good friend?” Sam clarifies. 

“Yes”

“Is that a therapy thing?”

Lena sighs.

“Sort of. You don’t have to answer if it too weird” 

“No, it’s okay, just give me a minute” 

A small eternity passes before Sam speaks again. 

“Remember when we first became friends?”

“Vaguely”

“We had that 8 am class with Dr. Feiner, I was always late for, and I was so sure I’m going to fail this class and get kicked out of the program. So I was rushing to get there on time one day and spilled my coffee all over the floor.”

Sam laughs dryly. 

“Everyone else was looking at me like I’m an alien, but not you. You got up and helped me clean it up, and then you went out to get me a new coffee after the first class ended. You didn’t even know me, you were Lena Luthor and I was a nobody who got in by pure luck and just made a fool out of herself, but you saw I was having a bad day, and you wanted to make it better.” 

Lena feels an urge to protest. 

“You make it sound like it was more than it was, it was just coffee”

“It’s not just the coffee. It’s the fact that you cared enough about a complete stranger to do something nice for them. You have the biggest heart I know Lena. So yes, I think you are a good friend. Even if you never let me win at anything, and you can’t dance if your life depends on it,” Lena lets out a wet chuckle. “and you think way too much. And you ask deep questions out of the blue.”

She takes a long breath, and her voice trembles slightly as she continues.

“Because I know you would always be there for me when I need you, no question asked. If it’s to help me through a panic attack before a big meeting or listen to me rant about my ex. Or buy me a cup of coffee.” “Or a coffee house” she adds with a smile. And I’m going to do the same for you. Because you are the best friend a girl can ask for”. 

They are both a little teary-eyed by the time Sam finishes. 

“Thank you” 

Lena’s chest is overflowing with emotions. She doesn’t know if she believes all the things Sam said. Not fully. But there is a feeling of warmth spreading all over her body. 

“Anytime”

“And Lena?” Sam adds before hanging up “she would be a fool not to want you in her life, as a friend, or as anything you want her to be”.

The line goes quiet, and Lena takes a deep breath. 

_Time to be brave, Luthor._

With a pounding heart, she picks up her phone again and starts typing. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How do you feel about the next chapter being from Kara's point of view?  
> Tell me what you think 😊  
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	4. Chapter 4

"What are you looking at?" 

Kara hurries to hide her phone from Alex's curious eyes. Which is of course the wrong thing to do, because the next thing she knows Alex jumps over the couch and pulls out the phone from the place between the cushions Kara tucked it in. On the screen, the Instagram story is still playing, and Lena leans over the pool table to take her shot. She's dressed casually, dark jeans and a leather jacket over a simple button down shirt, and there's something about it that makes Kara want to reach through the screen and get her attention. Next to her, Alex hums in understanding. 

“Who is she?” 

Kara tries to keep it cool. 

“Just one of our new customers.”

Alex doesn’t buy it for a second. She examines Kara’s face closely, her brow furrowed, before understanding dawns on her face

"Wait, is she the one Maggie said you have a crush on?" 

Damn Maggie and her great detective skills. 

“I don’t have a crush on her”

Alex smiles like the cat that got the cream. 

“Maggie doesn’t know what she's talking about.”

"She said you took over her deliveries just because someone ordered flowers to this girl’s workplace,” Alex said pointedly. 

"It was just one bouquet! And I was going there anyway to visit Winn" 

Alex’s grin only deepens. 

"So, did you meet her?"

Kara’s face heats up. 

"Maybe" 

“You're blushing” 

"Don't you have an exam to study for?" 

Alex has barely moved her eyes from her laptop for the past twelve hours, slowly covering every inch of the living room table with flashcards and empty coffee mugs. 

“I do. But this is so much more fun” 

Kara groans. 

“It’s nothing. She probably thinks I’m a weirdo. Or a stalker. Or both”

“You're a very cute stalker though” 

Kara throws a pillow at her. 

“Come on, let me enjoy it, I can’t remember when was the last time you had a crush on someone.”

Kara opens her mouth to protest. It’s not a crush, just curiosity, a completely harmless platonic curiosity that has nothing to do with the fact that Lena Luthor is probably the most attractive woman she ever saw in real life. Possibly not just in real life.

Alex gives her this look that says she knows Kara is full of bullshit, and okay, maybe this is a crush, but even if she wanted Lena like that, it's not like she has a chance. Lena’s world and hers exist on two completely different dimensions that it’s a miracle they even crossed paths. She shouldn’t get her hopes up. But there's something about Lena, Kara doesn’t really know how to explain it, but she feels a strange pull toward her, and she isn’t ready to let her slip between her fingers just yet. 

Alex returns to her textbook eventually, leaving Kara to stare at her phone for a long hour before she gathers the courage to send Lena a single starstruck emoji. She knows the odds she's going to see it are very slim. The woman is practically a celebrity. Kara’s message is going to be left forgotten under mountains of fan mail. So, in other words, she got nothing to lose. 

_@LenaLuthor liked your reaction to their story_

_

“She's not here,” Winn says when Kara turns her head to the sound of the elevator opening for the fifth time this hour.

“Who?” 

Winn looks at her pointedly.

“Lena, I heard her assistant saying she's in Star City today.”

“Really?” Kara doesn’t do a really good job of hiding her disappointment. 

She hasn’t heard from Lena in weeks. Just when Kara was starting to get used to Lena’s presence in her life, she suddenly vanished. She didn’t like Kara's new photos or watch any of her stories. Not even the one where Maggie dared her to eat a whole plate of the weird vegan dish she tried to make. Kara has no idea what happened, but she has a strong sense that this is all somehow her fault. 

She sighs. 

“Can’t I just be here to visit my best friend?”

“Sure. But it’s not the only reason you're here.” Winn smiles at her, not looking even a little bit offended, 

“If it makes you feel any better you are in good company. I think everyone in this building has a little bit of a crush on her. I babbled like an idiot the first time I met her. The woman is a certified genius.“

Kara groans “I’m going to kill Maggie.”

“It was Nia actually. Don’t be mad at her, she's just excited, I don’t think you showed any interest in anyone since-” Kara gives him a look. 

“After everything that happened this year, we think you deserve some good old rom-com, that’s all.”

“You're blowing it out of proportions. I don’t even know if I like her like that, and even if I did. She's Lena Luthor and I’m well... me. “

“Hey, don’t talk like that about my best friend. I’m sure even Lena isn’t immune to Danvers' charm.“

Kara finds it hard to believe. 

“It’s probably for the best if I just forget about her, she obviously forgot all about me already.”

“I don’t know Kar, you're not very easy to forget.”

_

_Hi, have you heard of the new Chinese restaurant opening next week?_

After weeks of radio silence, Kara’s heart does a happy Cartwheel when she sees Lena’s name on her screen. 

_Enough to know they have a six months waiting list._

_What if I told you I have some extra invitations for the opening party and I’d be happy to give you one if you're interested? (I heard there are going to be free Potstickers…)_

Kara stares at her screen. She blinks, but Lena’s message doesn’t disappear.She has no idea how on earth Lena was able to get on the exclusive opening night list with extra invitations (plural!) to spare, or why she wants her to have one, but she has very few rules in life, and one of them is never saying no to free Potstickers.

 _You had me at Potstickers_

_Great. Let me know if you want to bring someone with you, so I’d know to save them an invitation._

And because Kara feels suddenly brave, and possibly a little bit drunk from the questionable drink Nia poured her earlier tonight, she types-

_Will you be there?_

Lena’s answer takes a small eternity to appear, and Kara wonders if she’d just ruined any chance she might have had with her. 

_And get a front row seat for you trying to stuff as many Potstickers as you can into your mouth?_

_I wouldn’t miss it for the world._

Yes, she's most definitely still drunk because for a moment there it almost sounds like… Is Lena flirting with her?

_Challenge accepted_

_

“It’s not a date.”

Maggie passes Kara another bouquet to put in the trunk with a knowing smile on her face. 

“Sure it isn’t.” 

Kara puts the flowers with the rest of today’s orders and closes the Van’s door with a little more force than necessary. 

She should have kept her mouth shut. She didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. It’s just a night out with a maybe new friend. Nothing worth fussing over. But she asked Nia to stay for closing time on Tuesday so Kara could make it to the restaurant on time, and the news spread quickly after that. When did her friends get so invested in her love life? 

It’s not a date. Lena made it pretty clear by asking again if she wants to bring a friend with her. Which is fine, really. Kara is just happy to get to spend some time with Lena and potstickers and if it takes her forever to pick out an outfit it’s just because it’s a fancy restaurant and she doesn't want to look out of place. It’s probably for the best. When was the last time she had been on a proper date? Mike's idea of a night out wasn’t exactly the fancy restaurant kind, and well, that relationship hasn’t lasted long enough to celebrate an anniversary, or any other event that requires dressing up for. Other than that, Kara’s experience with dating is approximately zero. There was prom night with James back in high school (but does going out to a diner with her sister and the rest of their friends really count as a date?), and the time Nia opened her a tinder profile and Kara freaked out after two minutes of swiping and deleted it. 

She thinks about her long collection of almosts. All those years watching others fall in love and wondering if there's something wrong with her, something so fundamentally broken, that she is doomed to stay lonely forever. Sometimes Kara wonders if she left a part of her behind in the car crash (The part that makes people put her first). Maybe this is the price she has to pay for making it out alive. Maybe she's just afraid. All she knows is that she hasn’t been very lucky in that area. And Lena is… she feels too important for Kara to mess it up. Even if there's a part of her that really wishes it was a date. 

_

Kara tries not to squeal when she sees the line of celebrities at the door of the restaurant. Her mouth feels suddenly dry. What if they won’t even let her in? she doesn’t have an invitation to show, just Lena’s promise her name is on the list. But what if it was all just a big misunderstanding? They are going to take one look at her 50 dollar outfit and see she has no business being here. Maybe she should just go home.

“Hi” 

A familiar voice snaps her out of her spiraling. Kara turns around to see Lena smiling at her. 

“I’m glad you could make it.”

Kara feels the anxiety slowly leaving her body. 

“It was too good of an offer to pass up.” 

Lena’s smile widens.

If it was a date, Kara would have said something about how good Lena looks. Her dress is more casual than that one she wore to the gala, black and simple and hugs her body just right, and maybe Kara should say something anyway, friend compliments on each other's clothes all the time, right? Anything is better than standing here and staring like an idiot. Except, when she looks up it becomes clear that she isn't the only one who is staring. 

Oh, god, maybe this really is a date. She should have let Nia do her makeup. Her face feels suddenly naked with just a touch of mascara and lip gloss she decided to put on at the last minute. To her surprise, Lena seems just as nervous as she is. She shifts her weight from side to side, fiddling with the clasp of her handbag like she isn’t quite sure what to do next. 

“Do you want to come inside?” She asks eventually. 

They don’t have to wait in line. The girl at the door lets them in the moment she sees Lena. Inside, Kara’s senses are overflowing with music and chatter and the amazing smell coming from the direction of the kitchen. There are waiters walking around with plates of food and wine glasses and Kara doesn’t waste any time and takes a bite from her first Potsticker of the night. 

“Well?” 

Lena looks at her curiously. 

Kara licks her lips. They're not the best she had ever tasted but they're definitely somewhere in the top five, and Lena absolutely beams when she tells her that.

They find an open table outside, with a clear view of the ocean, and glance at each other awkwardly as they wait for the starters to arrive. It feels a lot like a date. The candlelight flickers in Lena’s eyes, illuminating her features, and Kara finds it hard to believe she is really sitting there with her. 

“I’m really glad you came,” Lena says after a few minutes of silence, “I know it was a little out of the blue, and that you don’t really know me…” her voice trails off. 

“I’m glad you asked,`` Kara says, “I just, I’m not sure I understand…” she bites her lips, “why me?” 

“What do you mean?”

“You must have had better options.”

“Truthfully, you're the first person I thought of when I heard about tonight.”

Kara looks at her with disbelief. 

“I don’t have many friends in the city,” she says, “ever since I moved back here, my life revolved around my work. I didn’t really make any friends or go out with people that don’t work for me. And then, I met you, and you were so kind and sweet, and it made me want to get to know you better, I just wasn’t sure how to reach out.”

Kara’s brain ran into some problem processing this information. Maybe she should get her ears checked because there's no way in the world she heard that right. 

“Is it too much?” Lena asks nervously. 

“No. I felt pretty much the same way. The _wanting to get to know you_ part, not the _new to the city_ part, because I’ve lived here my whole life unless you count freshman years of college, and some short research trips-” Kara realizes she is babbling and stops, blushing deeply.

Lena looks at her, slightly amused, and Kara hopes she doesn’t already reconsider the whole wanting to get to know her thing. 

“It looks like we are on the same page then,” she says, with a new air of confidence to her tone, and Kara can’t help but smile brightly in return. 

_

Date or not, it’s the best night out Kara had in months. And not only because she hasn’t really gone out much lately. Since it's the opening night they get a small taste of everything the menu has to offer, and Kara manages to eat most of it by herself to Lena’s astonished eyes. Lena herself focuses on sampling the wide wine collection and only tries the dishes Kara recommends her. After they pass the initial awkwardness their conversation flows easily. 

They move from the very serious discussion about their favorite music and the possibility of an NSYNC reunion, to more personal matters.

Lena’s eyes shine bright when she talks about the project she was working on in Metropolis, and Kara would have to Google half of the terms she uses, or maybe ask Alex, but she gets the basics. 

“Sounds like you were happy there, why did you move back?”

Something shifts in Lena’s expression. 

“When my brother stepped down from running the company, he convinced the board I should be the one taking over the reins. I’m still not sure why I said yes, family obligation? Wanting to prove myself?” her tone is raw and vulnerable, and for a moment she looks lost in thoughts. 

“Maybe I just liked the idea of being the one he called to save his ass,” she offers with a smirk, trying to ease the mood, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. 

“What about you? Was running the family business always your dream?” 

“No. Not really. I’m only doing it temporarily until Eliza feels better.”

“My adoptive mom,” she clarifies when Lena looks at her questioningly. 

There's a look of understanding in Lena’s eyes, and Kara remembers reading somewhere she is adopted too. 

(Maybe they have more things in common than she thought.) 

“I always felt at home around flowers, but ever since I was a little girl I wanted to be a researcher like my parents, and travel around the world in search of rare plants.” 

Kara remembers watching her mother working at the greenhouse as a kid, and being absolutely fascinated. She didn’t understand what it is that her parents do exactly, just that it has something to do with the research of rare plants and in the eyes of a six years old it seems like the coolest job in the world. Her mother taught her the names of all the plants they grew, and how every one of them needs different conditions to grow properly and Kara swallowed every word and wrote it all down in a little notebook she carried everywhere. 

“What happened?” Lena asks softly. 

Kara’s mind wanders to the email from Argo University that still sits unanswered in her inbox. 

“Life, I guess? I just got into a really great research program when Eliza was diagnosed. They caught it pretty early on and she's doing okay now, but it was really scary for a moment there, and Alex, my sister, she took it pretty hard.”

She takes a deep breath, trying to shake away the memory. 

“Eliza tried to convince me to go anyway, but I knew they needed me here. And the truth is, there was a part of me that was a little bit relieved.” 

Kara doesn’t know what made her say that. She never admitted it to anyone before. 

“Do you know the feeling when you want something for so long, but when you're finally about to have it, you can’t remember why you even wanted it in the first place? Or if you wanted it for the right reason?”

Lena’s eyes are warm and understanding. 

“I think I know what you mean.”

_

They're one of the last people left at the restaurant, staying long after desserts were served and the band stopped playing. Neither of them wants the night to end. When the waiters start giving them dirty looks, Lena walks Kara to her car. They walk slowly along the promenade, stopping every now and then to take in the sight of waves and city lights coming together. 

“I bet you don’t have this kind of view in Metropolis.” 

“Maybe this city is starting to grow on me,” Lena says, her gaze focused on Kara’s face. 

_

“So, this is it,” Kara says when they reach her car. Her fingers fiddle with her keys, but she doesn’t make any move toward the door. There is electricity in the air between them. Lena’s eyes linger on Kara’s lips, and for one glorious second Kara thinks she might kiss her, but the moment is gone before she even blinks, so maybe it was just wishful thinking.

“Thank you for coming. I had a great time.” She says eventually. 

“Same. Thank you for asking me to.” 

“So… goodnight?”

“Goodnight.”

They stand there awkwardly for a few more seconds before Kara chuckles and opens her arms for a hug. She waits for Lena to close the distance between them before wrapping her arms around her shoulders. Lena smells like coconut and something else Kara can’t quite put her fingers on, and when she pulls away, long after the appropriate time for an entirely platonic hug, they're both a little flushed. 

She finally gets in her car after that, and Lena starts walking away, but Kara calls after her. 

“We're doing a game night at my place on Friday,” she says when Lena turns around. 

“If you're free, I mean. You probably have better plans for a Friday night.” 

Urg, why is she babbling again?

Lena smiles. 

“Sounds great. But I should warn you, I’m very competitive".

Kara sings all the way home. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was just a little taste of kara's side of the story, there's more to come in the future.
> 
> Tell me what you think? 😊
> 
> [Tumblr](https://mayalice18.tumblr.com/)  
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> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/mayalice18)


	5. Chapter 5

Lena always liked plans. She likes being prepared, likes to keep her world familiar and predictable. She never took a test without answering every single practice question or showed up to a meeting without doing extensive research. Cat says it might be a symptom of Anxiety. Lena thinks it’s just a part of being a Luthor. Game night with Kara’s friends is no different. Like any other time in her life where she had to face unfamiliar territory, Lena wants to be as prepared as she can be. Which in this case means buying every single board game she can think of. 

When Sam walks into her apartment on Thursday, (looking annoyingly good for someone who had to catch an early flight and endure hours of back to back meetings with potential investors) she finds Lena leaning over a Monopoly board, holding the manual in one hand and a dice in the other. 

“Am I interrupting something?” She asks with a raised eyebrow. 

“Good, you’re here” Lena barely takes her eyes away from the piece of paper in her hand. “I need your help.”

Sam's eyes lay on the pile of games on the coffee table. 

“Did you impulsively buy an entire board games aisle and you don’t know what to do with it?”

“Very funny. No, I need you to help me practice.” 

“Practice Monopoly?” 

Lena nods. “I’m hoping to get to Pictionary later, and maybe go over some Trivia questions, but it looks like Monopoly is the one they play the most so it’s my safest bet.”

“When you said girls night, that’s not exactly what I had in mind.” 

“Please?” Lena pleads, “just a couple of rounds until I get the hang of it, and then we can do whatever you want.”

“You know it’s not a competition, right? She invited you because she likes you, I’m sure she won’t mind if you’re terrible at it.”

Lena looks at her like she is speaking a foreign language. When you are a Luthor you play to win or you don’t play at all. (Cat says it’s a great mindset for business and for competitive sport, not so much for a casual game night, but what does she know?). 

“I just want to make a good impression.” 

Sam sighs and joins Lena on the couch. 

“I’m totally going to make you order too much Sushi and watch the new season of Black Mirror.“

Lena smiles at her, gratefully. 

“Deal.” 

_

“You really never played Monopoly before?” Sam asks as she starts arranging the Monopoly bills. “I used to play it all the time as a kid.”

“Does Lillian seem like the kind of mother that would let us waste our time on board games ?” 

Lena was raised on a tight schedule of tutors and Fencing practices, and what little free time she had was dedicated to reading every single book in her father’s library. (There weren’t many romance novels in there). 

Sam’s face muscles tighten like she is trying not to say exactly what she thinks of Lena’s mother. 

“Well, It’s a good thing you’re in the presence of the Arias’s Christmas tournament champion three years in a row.” She says with a wicked grin. 

“I knew I kept you around for a reason.”

After an unfortunate roll of dices sent her to Jail for the second time, Lena decides she doesn’t like this game. Sam is having too much fun laughing at her expense, because how can she be so bad at this game when she is practically living it? Lena finds this comparison unfair. Business investments are done after weeks of research and spreadsheets, and while there is an element of chance and good timing in real life, she likes to believe her business skills are the ones that brought her to where she is today. This game doesn’t make any sense. But Lena never backed away from a challenge and by the time their food arrives she owns two train stations and a house in a nice street. She is still losing, but not as marvelously as before, and she is positive in her ability not to make a total fool out of herself tomorrow. 

They spend the rest of the evening watching Netflix and talking about Sam’s work and her dislike of the new scientist Jack brought on board. 

“She is just so annoying, walking around the office like she owns the place, treating me like I’m an idiot. And of course Jack won’t say anything because he wants to get in her pants-“ she gives Lena an apologetic look. 

“Sorry.”

Lena waits for the jealousy to wash over her, (because, sure, it was her decision to end things, but it doesn’t mean she is ready for Jack to move on, even if it's a little hypocritical of her) but it never comes. If anything, she feels relieved. She just wants Jack to be happy. 

“If Jack likes her, I’m sure she isn’t that bad (Sam makes a sound of disagreement), but I can go on a plane and put her in her place if you want, remind her who was there first.” 

“Thanks, but I think I can deal with her myself, I just miss working with you.”

“Me too.”

_

Lena’s still nervous when she parks her car outside Kara’s building. Kara said she doesn't need to bring anything, but Lena still stopped at her favorite wine shop on her way there and bought two bottles of wine. Does Kara even drink wine? She didn’t drink the other night, but Lena assumed it was because she was driving. What if she hates wine? Lena orders herself to breathe. It’s been a while since she felt this kind of pressure in her chest. It’s silly. She had a meeting with the head of one of the biggest hospital chains in the country this morning to negotiate a multi-million dollar deal and she didn’t break a sweat. There is absolutely no reason for her stomach to roll like this now. She takes a couple of deep breaths, _in through the nose, out through the mouth_ , like the guided meditation she despises instructs. She can do this. This is just a casual evening with Kara’s friends, not a hostile board meeting, she tells herself. It’s going to be fine. She takes one last look at herself in the rearview mirror, and in a last minute decision, frees her hair from the tight bun it was in all day. Then, forcing a smile on her face, she steps out of the car. 

She is early, and for a moment Lena hesitates by Kara’s door, wondering if she should go back to her car and wait the extra ten minutes, but before she makes up her mind the door swings open to reveal a beaming Kara. She is clearly dressed for comfort, with grey legging and a soft cardigan, and big, dorky glasses. It’s so different from the put together look she last saw her in, but it makes Lena’s stomach flutter all the same. She is glad she had the sense to change out of her work outfit into a simple pair of jeans and her favorite sweater. 

“Hi! I thought I heard someone going up the stairs.”

She stares at Lena for a long moment, “You look nice, I mean, you always look nice, but I like your hair like that.”

Lena is grateful for the dim lighting of the hallway because she can feel herself blushing. 

“Thanks. Sorry I’m so early, I thought there would be more traffic, I could wait outside if you need more time to get ready.”

Kara looks at her like she said something absolutely ridiculous. 

“I figured you’d be the punctual type. Alex is still at the shop, but the others should be here any minute. I can use your help setting up the snacks.”

With her cheeks still burning, Lena follows Kara inside, “I know you said not to bring anything, but I brought wine” she shows Kara the bag she is holding, “I hope that’s okay. “

Kara’s eyes grow comically wide when she examines the bottles. “This is so much better than Nia’s home-made vodka. Alex is gonna love that” “But you really didn’t have to,” she adds. 

Lena smiles, feeling a little more relaxed “You are welcome.”

Kara puts the bottles on the kitchen counter and starts to take out wine glasses from one of the cabinets. Lena takes this chance to look at her surroundings. It’s a studio apartment, with a big, open living room and large windows that watch over the city. There is a canvas stand at the corner of the room with a half finished painting, and houseplants cover almost every single piece of furniture and floor space. Lena spots the open Monopoly board on the coffee table and lets out a breath of relief. At least she did her homework right. Only a curtain separates the bedroom from the rest of the house, and Lena gets a glimpse of Kara’s bed and what seems like a messy clothes rack. Lillian would have hated everything about this place. Lena loves it. Something about this apartment fills her stomach with warmth. 

“It’s not a penthouse, but it’s home.” Kara’s voice startles her. She is standing behind her, fidgeting nervously with her glasses. Her face lights up when Lena tells her the apartment is beautiful. 

“Thanks. It… it used to be my aunt’s” she bites her lip, and Lena gets a feeling that there is more to the story, but she doesn’t want to press. 

“How many people are coming?” she asks when she sees the mountains of Potato chips and crackers on the table. 

“Five? but you saw how much I can eat” Kara answers bashfully. 

“Right.” 

Five new people. One of them is Kara’s sister. The anxiety at the pit of Lena’s stomach makes herself known again. 

“They are all dying to meet you,” Kara says as if she can read Lena’s thoughts. 

“They do?”

Kara nods “I don't bring new people to game night very often, so they know you must be pretty special.”

Lena's heart makes a small somersault. Kara smiles at her, warm and genuine, and she wants to savor this moment, (the blush that covers Kara’s cheeks, the way she looks at her like she is a rare, fascinating flower) so she could go back to it later when she needs something warm to hold on to. 

They are both startled by the sound of the door opening.

“Winn is in the house! Get ready to lose because I came in the mood to kick your a-” 

The guy freezes when his eyes lay on Lena.

“Lena, this is Winn, a good friend of mine,” Kara says, her eyes sparkling with amusement. 

“Miss Luthor, I had no idea you would be here.” There is a slight panic to Winn’s voice as he turns to Kara “I thought Maggie was kidding when she said she is coming, why didn’t you warn me? I would have worn something nicer,” 

Lena actually appreciates the Star Wars T-Shirt. Not that she is ever going to admit that. It would be a cold day in hell before Lillian would let her wear something like that in public. The guy, Winn, turns his attention back to Lena. 

“Hi, you probably don’t remember me, I work in the IT department at LuthorCorp. I’m a huge fan of your work, the night vision feature you put into the L-watch? Man, that was inspiring.”

So this is why he seemed familiar. Lena paid them a visit a few weeks ago and remember being amused by Winn’s enthusiasm and the wide collection of action figures on his desk.

“I remember you. Aren’t you the one who changed all the desktops in the building to a picture of a sloth?”

Winn looks suddenly pale. 

“You knew it was me? I mean, I have no idea what you are talking about. Please don’t fire me”. 

“Your secret is safe with me” Lena smiles reassuringly. “You did a pretty good job at covering your tracks, but you are not as good as I am. Also, Felicity told me about your little bet, I thought it was hilarious.”

Winn lets out a breath of relief.

“Good. Because working for you is my absolute dream job. I actually have some ideas I’d love to show you, I sent a few to R&D, but I don’t think anyone is reading them- ”

Kara clears her throat and Winn stops his babbling. Usually, Lena sends this kind of emails straight to her spam folder, but the hopeful look on Winn’s face makes her consider making an exception. 

“I’m a pretty busy woman, but you can email me your ideas and I’ll look at it if I have the chance.” 

There are definitely tears in Winn’s eyes when he expresses his gratitude. 

“You didn’t have to do this,” Kara says when Winn excuses himself to the bathroom. 

“I mean, Winn is crazy talented and you should definitely look at his ideas, but I don’t want you to feel ambushed…”

“It’s fine, I wanted to do it. I have a good feeling about him.”

Everything about Nia Nal’s appearance screams chaotic college student, from the dark circles under her eyes to her unbrushed hair. It sounds like she had at least five cups of coffee in the last few hours, and she babbles about the article she needs to write for the school paper, and the cute guy she ran into at the pizza place without stopping for air. Lena decides she likes her.

When Kara’s sister finally arrives, she gives Lena an intimidating look over before nodding with what she hopes is approval. Lena gets the sense that she doesn’t want to find out what being on Alex’s bad side feels like.

“It’s nice to officially meet you,” she says. 

Kara’s brow frowns in confusion, “You two met before?”

“She was at the shop last Friday after you left,” Alex says, and smiles at Lena like they have a shared secret. 

So Alex never told Kara she was looking for her. _Interesting._

As it turns out, the fastest way to Alex Danvers’s heart is booze, and she takes one look at the wine Lena brought and declares Lena is her new favorite person. Her girlfriend, Maggie, is a little harder to win over, but when Maggie mentions her dream to become a detective they fall deep into a conversation about their favorite True Crime podcasts.

Lena allows herself to relax after that. Kara’s friends are nice if a little enthusiastic and they do their best to make her feel comfortable, asking curiously about her life and her work, her Hogwarts house (Ravenclaw), and her favorite Disney villain (Cruella De Vil). The only person that doesn’t seem to be in Lena’s corner is James Olsen. It’s nothing concrete. Just a hunch, years under the Luthor shadow taught Lena to recognize the way people look at her when they think she is just another Luthor (His hand is stiff and formal as he shakes hers, his smile a little too wide to feel genuine). Lena decides not to let it ruin her mood. She is used to it. Besides, she never met the guy before (even if his name sounds awfully familiar), so whatever problem he has, it got nothing to do with her. 

Lena is grateful she learned the rules of the game in advance because when they start playing it becomes clear it definitely is a competition. The atmosphere is still friendly, but they are all very much interested in winning, and Kara explains to her that the loser has to buy the food for the next game night. 

(Lena is almost tempted to lose on purpose, just so she would have an excuse to be here next week but it goes against her Luthor DNA.) 

The game is a lot more fun with seven players, and Lena is actually enjoying herself. She never felt so belonged in a group of strangers like she feels now, playing Monopoly with six other grown ups that are just as eager to win as she is. It makes something inside Lena ache, though she can’t quite put her finger on the exact reason.

Nia falls asleep on Kara’s couch halfway through the game and Lena has to fight the butterflies that fill her stomach when she watches Kara carrying her to her bed. There is something very endearing about the way Kara takes care of the other woman. Nia is pretty lightweight, but Kara holds her like she weighs nothing at all, her biceps flex, and Lena feels hot all over. _Get it together, Luthor,_ she orders herself. She can’t let herself fall for her, not before she knows where they stand.

At the end of the night, it’s just the two of them in Kara's living room. (and Nia’s light snores from the bedroom). The others started to drift out after the game ended with Alex’s crushing victory late into the night. Lena should probably go too. She has some work to get done tomorrow, and the exhaustion of the day starts to settle on her shoulders, but she doesn’t want the night to end. There is a part of her that feels like if she just stays here a little longer her butt print on this couch will become permanent, along with Kara’s present in her life. So when Kara asks her if she wants to stay for a hot chocolate, she says yes. 

“So, you weren’t lying about being competitive,” Kara says, smiling fondly at Lena as she pulls out two unmatching mugs from the cupboard. 

“Your sister gave me a run for my money.” 

Kara chuckles. 

“Yeah, she can be pretty... intense. You will get used to it. She is usually unbeatable at Monopoly, but next time we are doing Trivia night and I’m counting on you to help me keep her ego in check.“

“Next time?” hope blooms in Lena’s chest.

“Yes,” Kara looks at her bashfully. “Once you come to game night you are in it for life, did I forget to mention that?”

There is a wishful glint in her eyes that makes Lena’s stomach flip. 

When she takes a sip of her mug she finds it’s the best hot chocolate she had in years. 

Kara’s lips flutter over her cheek when they say their good nights, and her hair tingles Lena’s face for a split second, filling her nose with a strong flowery sense that stays with her long after they part. 

_

Lena wakes up to the sound of someone knocking at her door. From the light that fills the room she can tell she overslept and a quick look at her phone shows her it’s past ten. She can’t remember the last time she slept in, but she feels well rested. The knocking continues and Lena groans and gets up. She has no idea who it can be. Sam is back in Metropolis as far as she knows, and she doesn’t get a lot of other visitors. Maybe it’s one of the neighbors? She thanks yesterday Lena for deciding to wear something semi presentable to sleep in instead of her stained MIT sweatshirt, and goes to the door. Her heart sinks when she sees who it is. On the other side of the door stands her mother. Her mother, who hasn’t stepped foot in her apartment since Lena moved in. A surprise visit from Lillian is never a good sign. Lena considers pretending she isn’t home, but the doorman must have already informed Lillian she is inside. There is no easy way out of this. Lena sighs. Bracing herself for an unpleasant conversation, she reaches for the door handle. 

“It’s a little late for a house welcoming present don’t you think?” She greets. 

Lillian's lips tightened slightly, but that’s the only sign she gives for hearing her. She scans Lena’s appearance with narrowed eyes. 

“Did you just wake up?” 

“It’s a Saturday, mother” Lena crosses her arms on her chest defensively. Lillian always manages to make her feel like a rebellious child. A particularly disappointing one. 

“Are you going to invite me in?”

Lena sighs. 

“Of course.” 

She leads Lillian to the kitchen, thinking she would handle this better with some caffeine in her system. 

“Coffee?”

Lillian nods and Lena busies herself with operating the machine, only turning back to her mother after taking a sip from her coffee. 

“So to what do I owe the honor of having you here?”

“Can't I just visit my daughter?”

“You can. You just never done that before.”

Lillian makes a dismissive sound like Lena is just being overdramatic again. 

“You know I’m a busy woman, but I made an effort to come here today because I believe we have some things to discuss. I think I deserve more than this hostile welcome.”

Lena swallows. Maybe she is being too harsh. Maybe Lillian really just wants to talk. 

“Talk then, why are you here?” 

“Maybe you are right,” Lillian says, her face pensive, and Lena raises an eyebrow. 

Her mother inhales deeply, fingers white against her coffee mug, as if her next words require great effort. 

“I have been a little… distant lately, and I’m sorry. Things haven't been exactly easy for me since your father passed, I didn’t know how to be a mother to you and I shut you out. But with your brother out of the country, you are everything I have Lena. I want to have a relationship with you, outside of work, I want to know what’s going on in your life.“

Lena can’t quite believe what she is hearing. There is a part of her that really wants to believe her mother’s words, a part of her that wishes nothing more than to sit and have a nice, open chat with her. But she has been burned too many times before. Lillian always has an agenda. She never gave Lena a compliment without expecting something in return, never tried to connect with her without an ulterior motive. Still, she can’t help but hope. What if this time she actually means it?

“I would like that too,” she says quietly. 

“I’m glad we are on the same page.“

There is a tentative silence after that. Neither of them quite know how to have a normal mother-daughter conversation.

“So what’s new in your life?” Lillian asks eventually. 

Lena makes a point to keep her guard up. If her mother really wants to know what’s going on in her life, she is going to have to work harder. 

“Not much. You know, I’m pretty busy. Lex called a few times, I’m guessing he talked to you too?”

Lillian nods. 

“I think he enjoys his time in exile far too much, I was hoping he would stop this nonsense by now and come home, but you know your brother, always the drama queen.”

“I’m surprised you haven't sent someone to drag him back yet.”

“He will come around eventually, and I need him to be on his best behavior when he does if we want any chance of salvaging his image, but enough about Lex, how are you doing? Are you still in contact with Jack? I was so sorry to hear you two split up.”

Lena rolls her eyes. 

“It was months ago, Mother, and it was for the best.”

“Is there someone else then?”

And here it is. Lena knows better than to think this is an innocent question. Lillian never cared much about her love life (unless she wanted to express her disapproval). 

_She knows something._

“Not really. Like I said. I’ve been pretty busy.”

It’s not technically a lie. Kara still hasn't given Lena a sign that she is even interested in her _like that._ The last thing she needs is her mother getting involved before she gets the chance to ask her out.

“Not even this blond girl you took to Wang’s opening?”

The color leaves Lena’s cheeks. 

“She is just a friend, mother.” 

Lillian’s lips tighten. 

“I see.”

“What? Am I not allowed to make new friends?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, of course you can make new friends. But you should be more careful. 

You don’t want people to get the wrong idea.”

Lena laughs dryly. She should have known, “So this is what this is about? Me going out in public with a woman?”

“Don’t worry, I took care of it. This time. I trust you to be more discreet in the future.”

“I didn't ask you to,” Lena says coldly. Lena was never the one who wished to keep her sexuality a secret. 

When Lillian caught her kissing Veronica Sinclair at their Christmas party when Lena was fifteen years old, she only sent her to fix her lipstick and go back to entertain their guests. Lena waited anxiously for a confrontation for the remains of her winter break, but it never came. Victoria stopped answering her texts, and the Sinclairs didn’t get invited to Christmas the next year, but otherwise, it was business as usual.

She managed to stay away from the spotlights for most of her life, always mentioned as “daughter of”, or “sister of”, on the rare occasions the paparazzi guy couldn’t find a real celebrity to follow and had to settle for the next best thing. (For years after her adoption, no one even knew the Luthors have a daughter.) She was the one kept in the shadows, the one that was never good enough or smart enough or worthy enough to be photographed with her family in public. There was some freedom to anonymity. She was left to her own devices. There was no one to recognize her with her glasses on and a too big MIT sweatshirt. No one to report Lena Luthor was dating her (female) college roommate. No one to take pictures of her drunk and sniffling into Sam's shoulder when Andrea left for good. But it’s not like Lena was going out of her way to hide who she was. Unlike Lillian who kept throwing young eligible men at her at every opportunity. 

She almost didn't give Jack a chance because she knew how much her mother would love the idea that she finally outgrew her teenage rebellion stage. (The look on Lillian’s face when Jack talked about his own bisexuality over dinner was priceless.)

Lillian lets out a long suffering sigh. 

“I turned a blind eye from your little... inclinations while you were out of the public eye, but you are in a very different position now Lena, and if you insist on keeping this behavior, you should be more discreet. Some of our investors might not be as understanding as I am.” 

Lena can feel her blood boil.

“I’m not going to hide because a couple of old white men might feel uncomfortable.”

Lillian looks at her as if Lena was a misbehaving child.

“If you wish to keep running LuthorCorp you would do as I say.” The threat is clear in her voice. “We lost enough money because of your brother’s last stunt, the last thing this family needs is another scandal. “

“And if I won’t?” 

Lillian’s lips tighten.

“Lena, I know we don’t have the easiest relationship, but I really am only looking out for you, despite what your hot shot therapist must have told you.”

If she hasn’t just admitted to knowing intimate details about her life Lena most definitely hasn’t told her herself, it would have sounded sincere. 

“How well do you know this girl that you are willing to throw everything away for her?” Lillian asks, and there is something about the way she says that (like she knows something Lena doesn’t) that undermines her confidence. 

“What do you mean?”

“There are a lot of people out there that wish nothing more than to bring this family down.”

“Kara is not one of them.”

“How do you know that? Did you let your security team run a background check? Did she sign an NDA?

Lena bites her lips. Of course she didn’t. She might have some trust issues, but she isn't paranoid.

“Well, luckily, I did my own background check,” Lillian says, sounding pleased with herself “and I have some troubling findings, I’m afraid your new… friend, might not have your best interest at heart.”

Lena’s heart starts pounding loudly.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“My private investigator did some digging, and it looks like she might have been sent to get intel on you,”

Lena’s mouth feels dry. 

“Sent by who?”

There is a gleeful smile on Lillian’s face. 

“Her cousin, Clark Kent.”

Clark Kent, like the journalist that wrote that profile story about Lex, Clark Kent?

Lena’s blood runs cold. This can’t be happening, her mother is just trying to mess with her head, right? But then the cabinet at the back of her mind where she stores random memories finally unlocked, and Lena remembers where she heard the name James Olsen before. The realization lands on her shoulders like a bucket of ice. He was there at the Daily Planet when Lex came after Clark. He was the one who took the pictures that were spread all over the news the next day (and months after that). Clark’s bloody nose. The mad look in Lex’s eyes before he broke his camera. God, no wonder he hates her. If Kara knows him, it’s not out of the realm of possibilities that her mother is telling the truth, and she really is Clark’s cousin. But that doesn’t necessarily mean she was spying on her, right?

“I’m guessing she forgot to mention it?”

Lillian’s expression is a little too smug to be sympathetic.

“We only met recently mother, we didn’t really get the chance to go over our family's trees. Do you have any evidence that she was spying on me, or are you basing these accusations solely on the fact that she is related to Kent?” 

“I believe it’s more than enough for you to cut ties with her. You can’t be too careful with these things Lena.”

“Kara isn’t a journalist.”

“Maybe. But who says she won’t slip and share sensitive information over family dinner? this guy was willing to go undercover for months to get that article, I’m sure milking information from his cousin isn’t something that is beneath him.”

“I trust her. “ Lena says, and the revelation scares her a little. What does she know about Kara that she is willing to have complete faith in her, even after what she just learned? 

“So you are a fool, just like your brother.”

_

Lena leans against the kitchen island, trying to keep herself grounded. She feels nauseous. Drained. Which isn’t exactly an unfamiliar sensation after a meeting with her mother, but it's still unpleasant. She doesn’t know what to think. A part of her, the logical part, knows Lillian is just trying to get under her skin. Lex didn’t lose his job because of some article. Clark didn’t publish anything newsworthy after all, just enough family secrets to feed the tabloids for days. It was Lex’s short temper and poor managing skills that doomed him in the end. But still, knowing Kara is related to someone with a strong agenda against her family, is a bit unsettling. She tries to hold on to last night, tries to sink back into the feeling of happiness and hope she fell asleep to, but all she finds is uncertainty.

She knows it’s just a classic Lillian move. But what if she is right? What if Lena is rushing into this? She feels off her game. She should have known Kara and Clark are related. Should have realized who James Olsen is as soon as he started looking at her weirdly. But she didn’t, because she wanted this to work so badly she overlooked all the red glaring signs, and now she isn’t sure if she can trust her own gut. 

She reaches out to the top cupboard, standing on her tiptoes to pull out the bottle of whisky she shoved in there. It’s mostly full. She pulls the cork and pours the amber liquid into a glass. Then takes a big gulp. She remembers the first time Lex made her try their father’s whisky. She was fourteen, and the taste was absolutely disgusting and she can still hear Lex’s laugh ringing in her ears, but she liked the way it made her feel. Not the alcohol itself as much as the thrill of sneaking into their father’s office and stealing one of his expensive bottles. It’s not really her go-to drink, (too many of her childhood memories smells like whisky), but it’s the one she goes to when she feels like wallowing. Catching herself, Lena pushes the glass away after her first gulp. It’s not even noon.

Instead, she picks up her phone and texts Miss Grant. She gave Lena the number on their first meeting, saying she can call at any time, and Lena promised herself she wasn't going to use it. Having your therapist on speed dial just screams high maintenance, but well, Lillian always had the talent of bringing out the worst in her. Cat's name appears on her screen moments later. 

“Hello. Lena. Why don’t you start by telling me why do I have the honor of hearing from you on this lovely Saturday?”

It’s weird, doing it over the phone. There is noise at Cat’s side of the line, and Lena wonders in the middle of what she is interrupting. Cat is far from being a “blank slate”, with her being a public figure and her occasional talk show appearances, but she is still mostly a mystery to Lena.

She presses the phone to her ear and sinks into her living room couch. 

“My mother came to visit.” 

Cat’s hums in understanding, “I see. I imagine it didn’t go very well?”

Lena tells her everything. Lillian's unannounced appearance. Her reaction to her relationship with Kara. The bomb she dropped about Kara’s cousin. The doubts she isn’t able to shake. 

“I know she is trying to manipulate me. I do. I just… what if she has a point?”

Cat sighs. 

“Listen, Lena, I could go all Freudian on you and try to analyze your relationship with your mother but I only have fifteen minutes before I'm meeting Amy Cuddy for lunch, and I don’t have much sympathy for this pervert anyway, so I’ll get straight to the point. You said it yourself, your mother is trying to get under your skin. She feels like you are slipping away from her grasp, so she is trying to keep you in line. And yes, maybe this is her own twisted way of looking out for you, but would you really like to live your life the way your mother does? Seeing enemies everywhere? Not letting anyone in? Even her own daughter?”

Lena considers it for a moment. The thought of turning into her mother is definitely an unpleasant one. 

“So I should just let it go?”

“I can’t tell you what to do Lena. But we have been through that before. You were ready to let Kara in, knowing there is a risk it won’t work out the way you want it to. The question is if you are still willing to take that chance.”

Is she ready? Is she right to trust Kara?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This only took 7679897 years. You can probably expect a more regular posting schedule from now on since I have most of the major plot points written already, but no promises 😊 
> 
> A huge thank you to isa-help for helping me with this chapter 🌷
> 
> come talk to me on-
> 
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> 
> Your comments mean the world to me =)


	6. Chapter 6

“You invited Lena Luthor to game night?” 

James’s voice is a few octaves too high, and the old lady that checks out the Cyclamens turns her head. At least he has the decency to look apologetic when Kara gives him a pointed stare. The last thing she needs is to drive away their customers. She knew James was going to react badly. Which was precisely why she waited this long to tell him. Judging by the way he reacted when Winn got the job at LuthorCorp, Kara can’t imagine he would be very supportive of her relationship with Lena. But he came around then, and she is sure he can be persuaded now too, or at least hopes so. She considered just texting him and let him process the information on his own. it’s not like they have a rule against inviting people to game night. Lucy joins them all the time when she is in town, and Kara doesn’t need anyone’s permission to invite Lena, it’s her house. But she needs this to work, needs him to be on her side tonight because she is nervous enough as it is. 

She checked her phone repeatedly for the past few days, waiting for Lena to cancel, but she only reacted with a thumbs up when Kara texted her the address and asked if she wanted her to bring anything. So, naturally, Kara is freaking out a little. This is Lena Luthor, who just took her to a very fancy restaurant, and her best answer to that is a lame game night at her loft? No, scrap that. Game nights are awesome. There is no better way to spend a Friday night than with her favorite people, good food and board games, and Lena is going to have tons of fun. It’s going to be fine. 

Alex teased her a little about taking Lena to see the family on their second date (“it’s not a date!”,” you are not fooling anyone but yourself.”) but both she and Maggie were pretty supportive, and Kara is pretty sure Nia is already thinking about ship names. James on the other hand... Kara knows he thinks the Luthors represent everything that’s wrong with society. Even before that whole article fiasco, he wasn’t exactly their biggest fan, and he certainly isn’t one now. (If there’s something James Olsen is good at, it’s holding a grudge). 

But Kara couldn’t care less about Lena’s last name. She only cares about Lena. And the woman she got to know is kind and brilliant, and nothing like the way the headlines described her. She only wishes James could see it too. 

“Her brother attacked Clark just because he didn’t like what he wrote about him, broke my Dad’s camera, and tried to sue me for posting the pictures, is that really the kind of people you want to get involved with?”

“Lena isn’t Lex.” 

“How do you know that?”

“I just do,” Kara says stubbornly. 

James' forehead crinkles in worry. 

“I don’t know Kara, are you sure you want to get yourself into this? Even if she is different, her family is bad news.”

“I’m not going to write her off just because her brother is a jerk.”

“It’s not just Lex. You read Clark’s article, there are a lot of shady things going on in this company.”

“Yes. Before Lena took over. She is trying to change things for the better.”

_Why is it so hard for him to get it?_

James still looks unconvinced and Kara is starting to lose patience. She crosses her arms over her chest, trying to look assertive. 

“Look, she is my guest, so either you promise to be nice to her, or you can consider yourself uninvited.” 

James puts his arms up in defeat, taken aback by the chill in her voice. He knows he isn’t going to win this fight. 

“Okay, okay, if it’s so important to you I’ll give her a chance, but I'm going to keep my guards up, and so should you.” 

_

Kara dedicates more time than she normally would to cleaning her loft (she hadn't vacuum under the couch since the time Alex spilled a bowl of popcorn all over the living room), and changes her outfit three times before deciding to stick with comfort. 

All her nerves evaporate as soon as she sees Lena. She is dressed casually, her hair falls on her shoulders in gentle waves, and if Kara trips over her own words when she tries to compliment her, can you really blame her?

Everyone is automatically charmed by Lena’s smile and competitive spirit. She fits into their group as if she belongs there, and other than a few suspicious looks here and there James stays true to his word and behaves. 

Lena stays with her long after the others go home, and they drink Kara’s special hot chocolate and talk into the night. When they part, it’s almost two in the morning, and her movements are free and sleepy, and Kara can’t resist pressing a kiss to Lena's cheek. She feels like a middle schooler all over again. Lying awake in bed and replaying the way Lena’s skin felt against her lips, too alert and giddy to fall asleep. But maybe she doesn’t mind staying here for a little longer. She likes this feeling of anticipation and hope (she is not ready for it to be brutally taken away).

_

Blueberry pancakes on a Sunday morning are a Danvers family tradition. Kara remembers waking up on her first weekend with them to a heavenly smell coming from the kitchen. She found a pile of perfectly golden pancakes on the counter, and Alex let Kara taste one when Eliza turned her back to flip the second batch. It’s one of the first things that made her feel like a part of the family.

It has been incredibly hard to keep the tradition alive in the past year. Kara found a great pancake house near the hospital, and she dragged Alex and the rest of their friends there a few times, but even she didn’t have much appetite back then. So there's really no better way to celebrate Eliza’s latest scans than with a mountain of pancakes. 

Kara wants Lena to be there. She isn’t sure where exactly this urge is coming from, they just saw each other, and the last thing she wants is to seem clingy, but there is something about the way Lena’s eyes lit up yesterday (like she was practically starving for human connection) that makes Kara want to open her home to her and wrap her with all the love and the attention she deserves. Makes her want to share this moment of joy with her. But isn’t it too much too soon? She gets the feeling Lena is a lot less social than she is, and she doesn’t want to scare her off. Alex claims she should stop being silly and just ask her and Eliza says she would be delighted to finally meet the mysterious Lena. Eventually, Kara decides to be brave and picks up her phone.

 _“Hi, would you like to join me and my family for brunch tomorrow? Eliza's blueberries pancakes are the best you've ever tasted_ 😉 _”_

_“as tempting as it sounds... I'd have to pass. I have a lot of work to catch up on.”_

_“On a Sunday morning?”_

_“I’m afraid so.”_

_“K. Tell me if you change your mind.”_

It’s fine, really. She knows how busy Lena is. She needs to be grateful she even found the time to come to game night. (Lena admitted she spends most of her Friday nights with spreadsheets and budget reports, a fact Kara swore to change.) But still, there is a feeling of uneasiness in her stomach. Everything seemed fine last night, she couldn’t have possibly done something wrong already, right?

_

Alex is already in the kitchen when Kara walks into Eliza’s house the next morning, mixing the batter and singing off tone to the sound of the radio. Kara isn’t allowed anywhere near the stove since the Christmas waffles incident of 2014, (which totally isn’t fair, it was an accident, why do people keep holding this against her?) so she takes the blueberries out of the fridge and starts chopping them to tiny pieces. 

“Someone is in a good mood,” she notes. Alex isn’t really the singing type. 

“I asked Maggie to move in together.” 

Kara barely gives Alex any warning before wrapping her in a bone crushing hug. 

“I’m so happy for you two!” 

Alex makes a show of groaning in pain but she doesn’t push her away. Kara knows how hard this year was on her. She was a mess in the months that followed Eliza’s diagnosis, and there was a moment after getting called to pick up Alex from the bar in the middle of the night became a recurring event, that Kara was terrified she was going to lose them both. Turns out almost getting kicked out of med school was just the wake up call Alex needed to get her acts together, along with the return of one, Maggie Sawyer to her life. Their blooming new relationship and Alex finally coming to terms with her sexuality was one of the best things that came out of this horrible situation. Kara can’t remember the last time she saw her sister this happy. 

“Yeah, it was kind of a spur of the moment thing, but it feels right, you know?” 

“That’s great.”

Kara’s phone buzzes then, and she reaches out to grab it, tossing it aside just as fast when she sees it’s just an Instagram notification. 

“Lena hasn’t changed her mind?” Alex asks knowingly. 

“Nope.” Kara tries to look unbothered by it, but from the pity look Alex gives her, she isn’t doing a very good job. 

“It probably doesn’t mean anything” Alex tries to reason, “She is the CEO of a big company. I’d be surprised if she wasn’t a little bit workaholic.” 

“Yeah, you are probably right.” 

“I’m always right.”

Kara sticks out her tongue at her.

_

It feels good to sit around Eliza’s kitchen table like nothing changed. Experience taught Kara nothing in life is certain, and there is still a part of her that keeps looking over her shoulder, waiting for the next blow, but for now, she is just glad Eliza is feeling better. There is always a chance the cancer would lift its ugly head again, but for now, they are trying to stay optimistic. 

They all get a little teary eyed when Eliza thanks them for stepping up during these hard times. Kara is good with flowers, but she knew nothing about running a business, and she wouldn’t have been able to get through this year without her friend's help. Other than Nia, none of them had been working at the shop in years, but they all volunteered to man the cash register and do deliveries and help with everything they needed. They were absolute lifesavers.

“This is also my unofficial notice that you are all fired.” There is a glint of humor in Eliza’s eyes, but they all know her well enough to know she is serious. 

“You did more than enough for this store, and for this family, but it’s time for you to focus on your own lives.”

Kara is going to miss working with her friends, but she knows they all have their own careers to focus on. James just got a permanent position at the Daily Planet, and Win got his dream job (and a promotion on the way if he plays his cards right), and with Alex graduating soon and Maggie starting her job at the NCPD, Kara can’t help but feel everyone is moving on with their lives, except for her. 

She still hasn’t answered the email from Argo. She knows that sooner or later she is going to have to make a decision, but things still feel so fragile, and Kara doesn’t know if she is ready to leave. Not yet. 

_

Lena is still busy when Kara asks if she wants to have coffee on Monday. She takes hours to 

answer Kara’s text, and when she does it’s only to let her know she is going to be stuck at the office all day. Kara takes it at face value at first, it’s the beginning of the workweek, of course Lena has more important things to do than hang out with her. When Lena refuses her lunch invitation the next day, she is still mostly understanding but when the situation repeats itself on Wednesday it becomes hard to ignore the voice at the back of her mind that insists Lena is avoiding her. She doesn’t answer any of Kara’s puppies videos, (not even the one with the Husky playing the piano) and Kara spends the rest of the day grumpy and distracted. She barely touches her Pizza when she meets with Alex and Maggie to help with their apartment hunting, and they both look at her with a mix of worry and amusement. 

“Still no words from Lena?”

Kara drops her phone back on the coffee table (no new messages) and turns to Maggie, who is looking at her with a knowing smile. 

“No,” she admits with a sigh. 

“Drove her away already?” Maggie teases, but she takes it back when she sees the look on Kara’s face.

“Relax, I’m just messing with you, why, did you do something to scare her off?”

“I don’t think so?” Kara says helplessly. 

It's not like Lena owes her anything. They barely know each other, it’s totally fine if she’s busy or simply has better, more exciting things to do than meet with her. But Kara can’t help the sinking feeling in her stomach. 

“You really like her, ah?” Alex says with a note of surprise in her voice. 

Kara feels herself blushing. 

“I’m not- it’s not like that. We are friends.”

Kara might not have the best track record when it comes to dating, but friendships she knows how to do. In fact, she is pretty damn amazing at it. And didn’t Lena say she doesn’t have many friends in the city? Kara would be happy to fill this role for her. She would be happy to be in Lena’s orbit in whatever capacity she wants her. (If she is ever going to find time for her in her busy schedule). 

“Sure. Whatever you say.” Alex smirks at her, but she doesn’t press any further. 

“Look, if it bothers you so much just go to her and see what’s going on. I’m sure she would be happy to see you, even if she is busy. ”

“You think so?” 

“If not, I’d gladly show her what happens when you hurt my little sister.” She says it with a wide grin, but Kara knows she is dead serious. 

Hopefully, this time it won’t be necessary. 

-

Kara feels slightly nauseous when she stands outside LuthorCorp tower the next day. She has no idea what she is even going to say to Lena, or if she would even let her in. Lena’s office is on the top floor of the building, and Kara has a very long elevator ride to try to calm her nerves (never an easy thing to do in a closed space), and she is still trying to gather her courage when the doors finally open. Her (sweaty) hands tighten around the take-out bags she carries, thinking that even if Lena won’t have time to see her, Kara should at least do her best to make sure she eats something that isn’t just leaves and vegetables for lunch. Lena’s door opens widely when Kara approaches her office, and a smug looking man steps out, wearing a suit that probably cost more than the entirety of Kara’s closet. There is no one else outside apart from Lena’s assistant, which means Lena should be free, at least for the next few minutes. Thanking her luck, Kara takes the opportunity and catches the door before it closes again. Lena’s assistant calls after her, but it’s only half heartedly, and Kara steps inside the office before she gets the chance to stop her. 

Kara had never been inside a CEO office before, but the room is about five times the size of her own little office at the back of the shop. It's awfully white, and the only personal items in the room seem to be a chess set on the coffee table, and the Water Lily Lena bought from her a few weeks ago. It makes Kara feel slightly uncomfortable, like being inside a doctor's office (she had enough of those lately). Lena is sitting at her desk, rubbing her temple, and just when Kara wonders if it’s a bad time, she notices her presence, and her eyes open wide in surprise. She doesn’t seem annoyed, just slightly confused, so Kara takes it as a good sign.

“Kara, hi, what are you doing here?”

“I know you said you are busy, but I brought lunch,” Kara shows her the take-out bags, trying to seem confident. 

Lena’s assistant shows up at the door before Kara is able to read her reaction. 

“Sorry Miss Luthor, she just burst in, she is really fast.” 

She is looking between Kara and Lena curiously, not looking even a tiny bit sorry. 

Kara watches Lena inhale deeply like she is bracing herself for something. And oh, no, she is going to tell Kara to go, right? 

“It’s fine Jess, I’m going to take my lunch break now, hold any calls that aren’t urgent,”

Jess isn't doing a very good job of hiding her smile. Lena waits for her to leave the room before turning to Kara. 

“I’m sorry I've been a little MIA the past few days, I wasn’t lying about being busy,” she says like she knows why Kara is really here, “but I also had some things I needed to process.” 

Kara’s heart starts pounding loudly. 

“What things?”

Lena’s face hardens, her emotions perfectly controlled. It makes Kara’s stomach roll uneasily. 

“I need to clarify something with you.”

“Sure. What is it?”

“Are you related to Clark Kent?”

“Oh.” That wasn’t at all what Kara was expecting. 

“Yes. He is my cousin,” she swallows, “Is that a problem?”

Kara bites her lips. It’s not like she had anything to do with Clark’s article. She didn’t even know what he was doing until after the fact. Holding it against her seems a little unfair. 

“No,” Lena says softly, and Kara lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding.

“I just, wish you would have told me.”

“I wasn't hiding it or anything,” Kara hurries to clarify. “I just didn’t think it was relevant. He doesn’t even know that we are…” her voice trails off, “I mean, James might have told him now, but I didn’t speak to him in a while. We don’t have the easiest relationship.”

“So he didn’t send you after me?” 

Send her after- Kara looks at her quizzically and then it dawns on her, “No! That's what you thought? I’d never do something like this.”

She should be offended, but she can sort of understand Lena’s thought process, ridiculous as it might be. She can see how this can all look suspicious. It’s a weird coincidence. And Lena did catch her stalking her that one time... Kara might have come to the same conclusion in her place. 

Lena’s face visibly relaxes. 

“Okay. I believe you.”

“You do?” hope returns to Kara’s voice. 

Lena nods. She is quiet for a few seconds, pulling at the fingers in her lap. 

"You have to understand, it's not easy for me to trust people. With a family like mine, it’s hard to tell sometimes if people are being genuine, or if they just want something from me. But I do trust you. Or at least, I want to trust you.”

That’s more than enough for Kara.

“I promise I'd never do anything to breach this trust. I told you, I don’t invite a lot of people to come to game night, this, you and I, it means something to me,”

It sounds silly saying it like that, but she hopes Lena understands the sentiment. 

“Good. Because I’m not in the habit of inviting people to fancy restaurants openings either,”

Kara beams at her. 

“So, we are good?”

Lena grins, “Depends, is this Big Belly Burger?” 

Kara’s smile goes impossibly brighter. 

_

Trusting Kara is so easy, Lena should be alarmed by it, but she lets herself sink into it, gives herself fully and completely and it feels good. Kara becomes such a constant presence in her life, that in a few weeks Lena can’t remember what she did without her. Game nights become an integral part of her new routine, along with lunch meetings with Kara every now and then, and her bi-weekly visits to the shop when she buys more houseplants to add to her collection just to have a reason to see Kara again. (Sam says she should just ask her out like a normal person, but Lena did not ask for her opinion on that matter, thank you very much).

It’s not that she doesn’t want to ask Kara out, but she never had a friend like Kara before, someone who seems to want her around, always, who brightens up every time they see her, who fills her phone with random facts and penguins videos when she knows Lena is swamped with work and could use something to cheer her up. She doesn’t want to lose that. Doesn’t want to make things awkward between them in case Kara isn’t interested in her like that. They have a good thing going, and Lena doesn’t want to ruin it because of the greedy part of her that wishes for something more. 

She is not blind, she can see the way Kara looks at her. The way every goodbye is filled with tension and every hug lasts just a moment too long to be innocent. But being attracted to someone and wanting to date someone are two different things, and so far Kara hasn’t given her any sign that she wants anything more than friendship. There are moments when Kara stares at her too intensely or babbles incoherently for a few moments, and Lena’s heart starts pounding loudly, thinking she is finally going to make a move, but Kara always ends up inviting her to another group gathering or tells her she should water her Succulent less often according to the picture on her Instagram story, so perhaps this all just in Lena's head. 

“Maybe she never dated a woman before?” Sam suggests, “or you know,” she whispers conspiratory, “maybe she never dated anyone at all?”

Lena has considered this possibility. Although she finds it hard to believe someone as friendly and gorgeous as Kara didn’t have suitors trailing after her all through college, (She didn’t miss the way James and Winn look at her), Kara’s awkward behavior could be easily explained by lack of experience. She is a few years younger than her, it’s possible she is still figuring herself out. Lena knows better than to press her. She let Kara set the tone of their relationship, careful not to ask for anything she might not be ready for. 

Movie nights become Lena’s new favorite activity. Kara seems eager to fix Lena's lack of what she insists are important pop culture references and invites her whenever she and her friends are doing a movie marathon. (Lena doesn't understand what's so important about a bunch of trashy movies, but she secretly enjoys it). 

She only has a vague idea of what they are watching this time. She is only half focused on what’s happening on the screen (some teenage vampires movie Nia is obsessed with, and was horrified when Lena admitted she has no idea what “Team Jacob'' means,) because Kara is sitting very close to her on the couch, and Lena is suddenly very aware of every single nerve in her body. She finds herself leaning into the touch, letting herself gravitate toward Kara’s warm body, like a cat bathing in the sun. Kara seems to take it as an invitation because as soon as she realizes Lena welcomes this new closeness the space between them only shrinks. Lena’s body purrs in content. This is absolutely stupid, what is she, a thirteen year old at a slumber party? She must be touch starved, that’s all. How many months has it been since Jack? Because her body definitely shouldn't react like this to the innocence of touches. Kara keeps looking at her during the movie, checking her reaction to the more ridiculous scenes, and making sure she is having fun. She mumbles the lines of her favorite parts, a fact Lena finds absolutely adorable but does nothing to help her focus issue. Halfway through the movie, Kara starts to play with Lena's hair absentmindedly, and Lena is absolutely gone after that. She has no idea how the movie ends because all she can think of is the pattern Kara’s fingers leave on her skull and the loud thuds of her heart. Kara doesn’t pull away from her immediately when the credits roll, although Alex is definitely giving them a look, and Lena thinks she hears someone sneakers “get a room” under their breath. But Lena has a meeting in the morning she is going to have to set her alarm clock very early to prepare for, so she reluctantly pulls away. Kara's eyes linger on her lips when she walks her to her car, and it takes every ounce of willpower for Lena not to kiss her right then and there and to hell with the consequences.

There is a whole pile of emails from Winn in her inbox before Lena gets the time to give them her full attention. Kara wasn't exaggerating. Though his lack of experience is obvious, his ideas are innovative and embodied just the kind of raw talent they can use. Lena sends an email with Winn’s ideas and resumes to her new head of R&D, a guy that goes by the name “Brainy” she used to work closely with back when she interned at their Metropolis lab and was the first person on Lena’s mind when his predecessor accepted their early retirement offer. 

Brainy’s answer comes after fifteen minutes and only says “He can start on Monday”. Their IT manager complains that Lena keeps stealing her best employees (Felicity joined the L-watch team a couple of weeks ago), but it’s mostly in good humor. 

Lena’s office is overflowing with flowers when she comes back from her monthly budget meeting, along with a card from Kara and five messages filled with exclamation points, and one heartfelt thank you from Winn. 

The flowers don't stop coming after that. Kara brings her a fresh bouquet every time they meet for lunch. Lena doesn’t think much of it in the beginning, Kara seems like just the kind of person that would bring flowers to people just because, (and she does run a flower shop). It doesn’t necessarily mean anything romantic. But then Jess asks her if her girlfriend is joining them for lunch today, and the look of pity she gives her when she explains Kara definitely isn’t her girlfriend makes her reconsider. She doesn’t bring it up to Cat (most of their recent sessions were dedicated solely to Lena’s mother issues, which doesn’t leave room for much else, besides, she can already picture Cat’s glare in her mind.) Her drunk attempt at googling the issue leads to some interesting Reddit threads but isn’t nearly enough for her to draw a definitive conclusion. She needs more evidence. 

Lena makes a new habit of stopping by at the flower shop before work. It’s not really in her way, but it’s a reasonable enough distance, and if she rushes through her leg workout, she saves herself enough time to bring Kara coffee and fresh cinnamon rolls, and keep her company for a few minutes before she needs to leave to make it to her first meeting. Kara never let her leave empty handed. Whether it’s a bouquet of red tulips or a box of new chocolate they just got. Today it’s a single pink rose. Kara hands it to her, almost shyly, and says there is something she wants to ask her, but the door of the store opens with the first customers of the day and the momentum is gone. Lena asks “later?” and Kara nods, a promise in her eyes, but when she brings it up when they meet for lunch the next day Kara only mumbles something about Karaoke night. (Lena adds a new row to her mental spreadsheet). 

Karaoke means on Friday night Lena finds herself at Kara’s go-to bar, a shabby looking place near NCU, with a sticky floor and a cheap alcohol collection. Her driver raises an eyebrow when Lena tells him this is indeed the right place, and she can’t really blame him, Lillian would have a heart attack if Lena would ever get photographed in a place like this, but with jeans and flat shoes, looking as un Luthor-like as she possibly can, no one spares her a second glance.

Kara hugs her warmly when she walks in, her fingers tangling in Lena’s as she leads her to their booth. The others are already there, laughing at Alex's story about the time Winn threw up on stage at the opening night of their sophomore year play. Winn’s ears are a little red, but he is laughing with the others, and when the barman announces the beginning of Karaoke night, he is the first one to take the mic, proving his stage fright days are behind him. 

Lena has no intention to jump on stage (not even after Kara gives her her best pout). Lena has many gifts but a nice singing voice isn’t one of them, and if this kind of video finds its way online it would be absolutely humiliating. She is happy to get slightly drunk from cheap beer and watch the others make fools out of themselves (she wishes she was this brave). 

The bar is pretty nice. A little like the one she used to frequent in college, and Lena sits back, absorbing the atmosphere, and lets the stress of the week slowly leave her shoulders. Maggie shares her view on Karaoke, and at some point during the night they are left alone at the table, as the others drift toward the stage. Lena must have zoned out mid-conversation, distracted by the way Kara’s ass look in these pants, because the next thing she knows Maggie is smirking at her and asking- 

“So, what’s going on with you and Kara?” 

Lena blushes, knowing she was definitely caught looking at Kara in a certainly non-platonic way, but still, her first instinct is denial. 

“What do you mean?”

“Come on Luthor, I’m not blind. There is clearly something there.”

Kara is about to take her place on the stage, and she flashes Lena a bright smile that makes her stomach flutter. 

“We are friends.” 

“Just friends?” Maggie raises an eyebrow. 

Lena answers with her best Luthor glare until Maggie caves, chuckling. 

“Look, I’m not going to bug you with this, it’s your business, but as someone with first hand experience to how oblivious the Danvers sisters can be when it comes to their own feelings, if you are waiting for Kara to make a move, you could be waiting a long time.” 

The first notes of the song start playing then, saving Lena from answering. This isn’t a romantic song, just something from a Broadway musical Lena can’t remember the name of, but Kara’s voice is lovely, soft and lyrical, her eyes are glued to Lena's when she sings, and maybe this is all the evidence Lena needs. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you excited to meet Andrea next chapter or is it just me?  
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> A huge thank you to my beta reader for helping me make this fic better 😊


	7. Chapter 7

Lena’s plan is simple. She is going to wear her favorite dress for her lunch with Kara on Monday, order the largest plate of potstickers the city has to offer, and when Kara is properly distracted by the food, she is going to gather her courage and finally ask her out. 

She even has a date idea in mind. There is a new exhibition at the National City Art museum she thinks Kara might appreciate, and the beautiful gardens next to it would make a nice picnic spot. 

She tries not to dedicate much thought to what would happen if Kara says no. She made sure to restock the whiskey supply in her office, just in case, but otherwise, she tries to push this possibility out of her head. _It’s going to be fine._ She repeats, like a mantra. She is going to say yes. 

Things don’t go as planned. It starts when she finds a rather big stain on her dress when she gets dressed on Monday morning. It doesn’t go away after a few minutes of frustrated scrubbing, and Lena has to give up and put it in the dry cleaning pile. She tries to convince herself it’s fine. She has a walk-in closet full of dresses, any one of them can do the trick, but none of the others she tries on inspires the same confidence. She settles for a deep red one that suits her figure and hardly meets their lab safety protocol with all the exposed skin it leaves, and from the not so subtle way Kara looks at her when she enters, she seems to appreciate her choice. 

She barely touches her food. Kara gave these noodles four and a half stars, but Lena has to force herself to chew and swallow. She is too nervous. She feels like she used to before a big Chess competition, stomach swirling as all the possible moves and outcomes run through her head.

“There is something I’ve been meaning to ask you,” she says halfway through their lunch. fearing if she won’t do it now, she won’t be able to do it at all. 

Kara’s reaction is muffled by the large bite of food she just took, and she is chewing rapidly to free her mouth for speaking. If it was anyone else Lena might have been disgusted, but it’s Kara, and even with sauce dripping down her chin, she still manages to look adorable. 

“What is it?” Kara says after wiping her mouth with the napkin Lena hands her. She gives Lena her full attention now, her eyes warm and encouraging, and there is something reassuring about it. It’s Kara. She can tell her everything. It’s going to be okay. 

“I-” 

The door to Lena’s office swings opens then, and Jess walks in, looking apologetic. 

“Miss Luthor, I have Morgan Edge on the line, he has some reservations about your deal he wants to discuss with you, he says it’s urgent.” 

Lena suppresses a groan. Edge's lawyers keep finding new reasons to postpone the signing. She suspects it’s just a childish power play meant to protect Edge's fragile ego, but Lena is very close to just calling off their partnership. Unfortunately, Edge is one of the most influential businessmen in the city and Lena has to swallow this pill for the sake of LuthorCorp. 

“I’m sorry, I have to take this,” she says to Kara who nods in understanding. 

“It’s fine, I should probably go back to the shop soon anyway.”

She starts shoving the rest of the potstickers back into the plastic container they came in, but Lena stops her.

“You can stay here and finish eating, I’m not kicking you out, I know how you feel about cold potstickers," she says with a playful smile. 

“No, it’s okay, I don’t like leaving Eliza alone for too long, and I don’t want to bother you.”

“You never bother me, I like having you here,” Lena says sincerely. Kara’s presence makes even the idea of dealing with Edge sound less dreadful. 

“Can we try this again tomorrow? Let me make it up to you. We can go to that restaurant you talked about.”

“Sure, sounds good.”

_

They don’t meet the next day. Or the one after that. Kara gets a last-minute order for a big wedding, and all her time is dedicated to making flower arrangements and answering the whims of the bride. She gives Lena hourly updates about Siobhan’s absurd requests, but she sounds happy to work closely with her mother again. Lena is busy too, trying to bring the deal with Edge Global to fruition, and her little confession has to wait a little longer. 

They make plans to watch _The Princess Bride_ on Thursday, and Lena cuts half of her lunch break and goes through her to-do list in record speed to ease her guilt about leaving work early again (even if she is still one of the few people left in the building by the time she finally walks out of the office). Nia and Alex were supposed to come too, but Nia has a paper to finish and Alex calls at the last minute to say she forgot she and Maggie were planning to go see one of the apartments they were thinking of renting. Lena suspects it’s just an excuse to leave her and Kara alone (if the ” _you are welcome_ 😉” text she gets from Maggie is any indication), but she isn’t complaining. 

She is going to tell Kara tonight. She just needs to find the right moment. And if this magical moment isn’t going to come until the end credits of the movie roll, that’s awfully convenient. Because if things won’t work out the way Lena wants them to, if Kara won’t ever look at her the same way again, Lena selfishly wants to steal a little more time with her before it all comes crashing down.

There is a strong smell of something burnt when Lena walks inside Kara’s place, and she finds her smiling sheepishly over an unfortunate pot of popcorn. Kara swears it still tastes good, but Lena takes a tiny bite from Kara’s (too brown, too salty) creation, and decides to take matters into her own hands. She never actually made popcorn that didn’t come in a microwave bag before, but it used to be Sam’s go-to study snack, and Lena watched her make it enough times to be confident in her ability to pull it off. She consults with google to make sure she isn’t forgetting anything, puts her hair up in a ponytail, and gets to work. Soon, it becomes clear that this was a terrible idea, because Kara’s kitchen is tiny, and Kara is looking over her shoulders curiously to see what she is doing, which makes it really hard for Lena to concentrate on the task at hand. When the corn kernels start to pop, Kara makes an adorable sound of excitement, and Lena forgets to take a step back from the stove. She feels a sudden, sharp pain when a sneaky popcorn jumps from the pot to the exposed skin of her wrist. Lena curses and hurries to put her hand under cold water before it starts to swell. 

Kara's eyes are wide with worry. 

“Are you okay?” 

Lena nods reassuringly. “It’s just a small burn. Believe me, I had my fair share of lab accidents.”

Kara still doesn’t look convinced. 

“Do you want to put Aloe Vera on it? Eliza always kept some in the kitchen when I was growing up, it works like magic.”

“It’s really fine don’t worry, it barely even hurts.”

Kara still looks at her with a frown on her face, and Lena’s reservation melts. 

“Sure why not, it can’t hurt.”

To her surprise, Kara doesn’t reach for a medicine cabinet, but for a small pot on her windowsill. She cuts a small stalk from the plant and slices it open to reveal the gel inside, presenting it to Lena with a smile. 

“It’s better than the store bought stuff, really.”

When Lena doesn’t move, Kara dips her own finger in the Aloe Vera and rubs it into the sore, red spot on Lena’s wrist in gentle circles. Her skin tingles under Kara’s touch in a way that has nothing to do with her burn, and for a moment, Lena forgets how to breathe.

“Thank you,” she says when Kara finally lets go of her hand. She was right, it does feel a lot better. 

“Sure, what are friends for?” 

Lena’s stomach sinks. _Right. Friends_. The kitchen feels suddenly claustrophobic. She needs to put some distance between her and Kara, to fill her lungs with air that doesn’t smell like burned popcorn and Kara’s shampoo. She makes a beeline for the stove, busies herself with the popcorn that thankfully smells delicious this time, and makes sure she is being extra careful when she turns the fire off and pours the content of the pot into a bowl. She doesn’t know why Kara’s words sting so much. They are friends. Regardless of what they may or may not become. But all her doubts are rising back to the surface and she feels the courage leaving her body. What if Maggie doesn’t know Kara as well as she thinks she does, and she only sees Lena as a friend? What if Lena misread all the signs and she is setting herself up for disappointment? 

She can’t do this. 

She still almost blurts it out in the middle of the movie anyway. Kara mumbles along with the movie, (“My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die”), and Lena’s chest feels like it’s going to explode from all this wanting, but the words don’t come out. 

_Coward._

Her apartment feels awfully quiet when she gets home, and Lena tosses and turns, unable to shake the hollow feeling that takes hold of her. 

(There is a small Aloe Vera plant on her desk when she enters her office the next morning, and though Jess refuses to tell her where it came from, Lena has a pretty good idea). 

_

“So you chickened out,” Sam declares the next time they facetime, a slight teasing in her voice. Lena frowns. Sam makes it sound like she just got cold feet, which couldn’t be farther than the truth. Lena doesn’t make irrational decisions. She made a quick risk-benefit analysis in light of the new data and decided it would be wiser not to carry on with her plan. It was the only logical conclusion. Or at least that’s what she is trying to tell herself.

Sam would hear none of it. 

“That sounds like a lot of bullshit to me. I don’t know Kara, but from everything you told me, it sounds like she really likes you. Even if she doesn’t feel the same way, she isn’t going to stop being your friend just because you have a crush on her.”

Deep down Lena knows she is right. Kara doesn’t seem like the kind of person who would let something like that ruin their friendship, but it doesn’t help the pressure in her chest. She hasn’t been the best judge of character in the past. 

“It would still be humiliating,” she says, but even to her own ears, the excuse sounds weak. It’s not like Sam doesn’t know the real reason behind her hesitation. She was there to pick up the pieces after what happened the last time Lena let someone get this close. Thankfully, she doesn’t bring it up. 

“It’s a good thing I’m going to be in town to cheer you up then,” 

Sam is coming to National City next week to close the deal with their mysterious new investor, and Lena silently hopes she would be too busy to meddle with her love life. 

“Are you finally going to tell me who is your new investor?” she asks, glad for the excuse to change the subject. 

Sam has been pretty tight-lipped about their identity, which only made Lena more curious. She had to take a step back from Spheerical Industries when she took over LuthorCorp, but she is still one of their biggest shareholders, and she is supposed to have a say in these kinds of business decisions. She trusts Sam’s judgment of course, but it’s hard to let go of control sometimes, and Sam’s decision to keep it a secret is a little suspicious. She usually doesn’t keep things from her. 

“I told you, I don’t want to jinx it. I’ll spill everything after we close the deal.” 

There is tension in Sam’s voice, and Lena wonders what it’s all about. Maybe their investor is someone really famous and she is afraid they would back out if it gets to the media? she mentally goes over possible suspects in her head, there aren’t that many celebrities in National City after all, but she decides not to press. 

“Let’s have dinner to celebrate after? My treat. You can tell me everything then.”

“I’d love that.”

_

Lena is half considering skipping game night this week. She already missed one evening of work, and she could use the time to catch up on her ever-growing to-to list, (plus, she rather avoid any more of Kara’s friends' attempts of matchmaking), but Kara looks like she kicked her puppy when she tries to tell her that, and Lena is helpless against the woman’s pout. 

She settles on keeping a friendly distance from Kara, retreating to the comfort of rules and boundaries. She sticks to non-alcoholic drinks and makes sure to stay on her side of the couch, even when the temperature in the room drops, and Kara offers to share her blanket with her (Maggie and Nia somehow got two blankets each). If Kara notices Lena is acting any different, she doesn’t say anything. 

The next few days are uneventful. She avoids Lillian’s dinner invitation and spends most of her weekend in her home lab, trying to keep her mind occupied on something other than the uncertainty bubbling under her skin, and before she knows it it’s Monday again. She goes to the gym. She goes to work. She meets Kara for lunch. She doesn’t ask Kara out. Repeat. 

_

When Sam announces her deal went well, Lena pulls some strings to get them last minute reservation to Sam’s favorite Italian restaurant. They agreed to meet outside of Sam's hotel and walk to the restaurant together, but when she texts her that her meeting is running late, Lena decides to wait in the lobby instead.

The insides look just like any other luxury hotel Lena had been to, with bright marble floors and crystal chandeliers dangling from the ceiling. There is a large sitting area near the reception, with wide leather couches and a grand piano, where groups of men in suits sit with their expensive glasses of whisky. Hosting Sam in this kind of place is certainly a statement. Spheerical’s new investor must be a really big deal.

Lena is about to sit on one of the free armchairs when she lays eyes on Sam. She is still in the middle of a meeting, laptop opened, and notes spread all over the table in front of her, but Lena’s attention is on the person across from her. She barely stops the gasp of surprise that threatens to leave her mouth, because the woman talking with Sam is the last person Lena expected to see today. 

It’s not that she hadn’t seen Andrea since their break up. She got a glimpse of her at the Luthor Christmas gala two years ago, and they attended the same business conference a few times, but Lena always kept her distance. It’s the closest she has been to Andrea in five years. She looks good. Of course she is. Andrea always looked nothing short of impeccable. Her lips are bright red, and her dress wrapped around her body like a second skin. Not that she needs it, she always managed to effortlessly command the attention of every room she was in, and for a moment Lena is seventeen years old again and catching Andrea’s gaze across the room for the very first time. 

She needs to get out of here. Needs a moment to herself before she has to deal with whatever this is, but the universe isn’t on her side today, because Sam chooses this moment to look in her direction. Her pupils dilate when she notices Lena, and guilt is written all over her face. 

"Lena, hi,” she says weakly, “I thought we are going to meet outside.”

Then, with a sinking realization, Lena gets why Sam was so mysterious about her new investor. Andrea turns her head to the sound of Lena’s name, and Lena notes with satisfaction that she looks just as shaken by the sight of her as she feels. 

“This is your new investor?” she asks, trying to keep her voice even. 

There is a part of her that expects Sam to say no, that still wishes for another explanation, but the look on her face tells Lena all she needs to know. 

“Lena I-” 

Andrea is looking between the two of them quizzically. 

“You didn’t tell her?” 

Sam shakes her head.

“Well, that’s awkward,” Andrea says, taking a generous sip from her wine. 

“I thought it would be better to do it in person. I was going to tell you tonight,” Sam tries to explain with a note of pleading in her voice. 

Lena’s head spins. She knew when she moved back here that she was going to run into Andrea sooner or later. But she expected them to exchange polite smiles at a charity gala or avoid eye contact when they wait for their coffee order. She didn’t expect this. It's bad enough that Andrea’s face haunts her from every billboard and TV screen in the city. Why did she have to claw her way back to Lena’s life?

“Seems like you two have a lot to catch up on,” Andrea says, quickly packing her laptop and getting up. “Samantha, I’ll be in touch.”

Lena notices Sam doesn’t frown at the sound of her full name. Back when the three of them were still a part of the same circle, Andrea used to call her that to get on her nerves. Now, it almost sounds like a term of endearment. 

"It's good to see you, Lena,” she says on her way out, and for a moment she is close enough for Lena to realize she is still using the same perfume and get whiplashed with old memories.

There is a heavy silence after Andrea leaves. Lena waits for Sam to start talking, but she already knows she isn’t going to like what she is going to hear. 

“I didn’t want you to find out like this. I was going to tell you tonight,” Sam repeats, 

“Can you please sit down so we could talk about it?”

Reluctantly, Lena takes Andrea’s place. 

“I didn’t know Obsidian North was interested in Nanomedicine,” she says, choosing to focus on the technical aspect of the matter. The last time she checked Andrea’s company was launching their new VR-lenses. Spheerical’s work doesn’t really fit her brand.

“They aren’t, technically. She thinks the bio link we use with the nanobots could be useful for the new generation of their VR lenses. But that’s all I can say without her lawyers lurking over me like hyenas.” 

“So she approached you?” 

Sam shakes her head, 

“Not exactly. We sort of ran into each other the last time I was here to meet with potential investors. We started talking, and she made me an offer. I didn’t think she was serious, but when I got back to Metropolis I got a call from her CFO with an official offer.” 

“So you ran out of possible investors that you just had to go for my ex?”

Lena knows she isn’t being fair, but she thinks she is allowed to be a little petty in this situation. 

“This isn’t about you Lena,” Sam sounds mad now, “You know we are struggling ever since you left, and Andrea gave us a really good offer,”

“I just didn’t know you two are speaking again.”

That’s the thing the baffles Lena most. Because Sam and Andrea were never really friends. Sure, they got along just fine, but they were only friends by proxy, with nothing tying them together without Lena around. In fact, Lena always got the impression they are only tolerating each other's company for her sake. So seeing them together now, even if it’s just for business purposes… it catches her off guard. 

“We aren’t. I told you, we just ran into each other. It was a coincidence. You know I was never a fan of Andrea, this is just business.” 

There is a nervous twitch to Sam's face like she is holding something back, but it might only be Lena’s imagination. 

“Why didn’t you just tell me?”

“At first I honestly didn’t think this is going to work out, and then… I know Andrea is a sore spot for you, I didn't want your personal history to get in the way of business.”

Hot anger floods Lena's system. 

“So you decided to keep this for me? I know I’m not as involved as I used to be, but I’m still a part of this company, this affects me too, I had a right to know.”

She can’t believe Sam had kept something like this from her for so long. If she had told her she was considering Andrea as a potential investor, Lena might have been mad at first, but she is a businesswoman, and she knows to recognize a good deal when she sees one. It’s the fact that Sam lied to her that stings. Did she really think Lena wouldn’t be able to be professional about it? Did she look at the mess Lena made out of her personal life and decide she is too fragile to handle this? 

Remorse colors Sam’s face, “you are right, I’m sorry.”

Lena feels numb. 

“I think I’m going to have to take a raincheck on that dinner. I’m not in the mood.” 

Sam calls after her when she leaves, but Lena doesn’t turn around. She walks back to her apartment in a daze, and only when she is collapsing on the couch, feet swollen and heels discarded haphazardly across the room, she lets a sob escape her chest. She falls asleep like that, still curled up on the couch with her clothes on, and wakes up to a pounding headache and a dozen missed calls from Sam. 

_

She has an email from Jack waiting in her inbox when she gets to her office. He apologizes for his part in keeping her out of the loop and attaches a copy of the contract Sam and Andrea just signed. Lena goes over it after getting appropriately caffeinated, and she has to admit it’s a good deal. If Andrea’s name wasn’t on it she would have probably told Sam to jump on the offer without thinking twice. Maybe she was just overreacting. Sam’s words from last night echo in her ears “this isn’t about you” and shame swirls in her stomach. Isn’t it exactly what Lena’s been doing in the past few months? making everything about herself and her problems?

Yes, Sam made a mistake when she didn’t tell her sooner. But she was going to tell her, didn’t she? That was the whole reason for their dinner plans. She was probably just trying to be considerate of her feelings and tell her in person. But that’s the thing, isn’t it? Lena hates being handled with kid gloves. She always prefers to hear the truth, even if it’s uncomfortable. And the thought of Sam seeing her as someone she needs to be careful around sends hot waves of humiliation down her spine. Yes, she hasn’t exactly been her put together self lately, but she is handling things to the best of her ability. And she never once let her personal life affect her work. Sam should have known that. 

Jess’s voice on the intercom announcing her first meeting of the day is here awakes her from her thoughts. Lena has no idea what the meeting is even about. She doesn’t even remember having a meeting this morning. But there it is on the calendar, 10:15-Andrea Rojas. 

Dread fills Lena’s stomach. She is going to have a serious chat with Jess about not scheduling last-minute meetings with her ex-girlfriends. Lena sighs. Canceling would be a sign of weakness, and it’s too late for it now anyway. Besides, she is curious to see what Andrea has to say to her after all these years. 

“Let her in,” she tells Jess. 

Leadership looks good on Andrea. Even in college, when people used to show up to class in the clothes they went to sleep in, Andrea always dressed like she was going to a business meeting. The dress she is wearing today is no different, but it suits her better now, like she finally matured into the person she wanted to be.

“What are you doing here?” Lena asks, pleased with the steel in her voice. 

Andrea doesn’t waver. 

“Sam was moping all morning and it was never a good look on her. I don't want to be the reason you two are fighting. I know you are not thrilled about my involvement with Spheerical, so I thought it might be an opportunity to clear the air between us.”

Lena purses her lips. It’s a little late for that, isn’t it?

“What makes you think I’m interested in what you have to say?”

“Look, we live in the same city now. We run in the same circles. Even if I hadn't just signed a five years contract with one of your companies, we would have crossed paths sooner or later. Don’t you want to put the past behind us?”

“I recall you never had much of a problem with leaving things behind,” Lena answers bitterly. 

“Come on Lena, it was five years ago.”

“If this is your idea of an apology you are doing it wrong.”

“Lena…”

There is a softness to Andrea’s voice now, and it shatters something deep inside her. 

“You just took off and shut me out of your life without so much as an explanation, do you have any idea how it felt?”

Andrea seems taken aback by that. 

“That’s not true, you knew my father made me an offer I couldn’t refuse, you knew I was leaving,”

“Leaving Metropolis, not me.” 

It feels silly to argue about it now, because what difference does it make? but Lena isn’t going to let Andrea pretend it was all a big misunderstanding. 

“And how exactly was it supposed to work with us five thousand miles apart?”

“I don’t know Andrea, we had emails and phones and private planes, we could have made it work.”

_You just didn’t want to._

“We both know that’s not what papá had in mind when he made me that offer.”

Andrea’s words slap her like a cold wind. Lena suspected as much. There was a part of her that always knew Andrea’s sudden promotion was just a scheme to split them apart (one that had Lillian’s fingerprints all over it), even if none of them ever said it out loud. Deep down she knew she was saying goodbye for good when she left Andrea at the airport, but Lena still spent months wondering if it was all her fault.

“Look, I made a choice, and I know I hurt you, and I’m sorry,“ there is sadness in Andrea’s voice, “I thought... I thought it would be easier if I just push you away, but you are right, I should have been honest with you. I was a coward, I didn’t think I would be able to say goodbye to you, so I never did.”

“Was it worth it?” she asks quietly. 

“I missed you every day for the past five years”

It’s not an answer. But maybe Lena prefers not to know. 

“I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I really do miss you, Lena. I miss my best friend. If you ever want to catch up, you know how to reach me,” Andrea gets up to leave, her eyes still on Lena. 

“And please call Sam back. She is really sorry about keeping this from you. She thought she was doing the right thing.”

_

“Is everything okay?” Kara examines her, her eyes filled with worry. 

They didn’t have any plans to meet today, but Kara still showed up with Lena’s favorite Kale salad and a deep frown on her face after learning Lena hasn’t left her office or eaten anything in the past twelve hours. (She really shouldn’t have let her and Jess exchange phone numbers). 

“Sorry,” Lena’s face heats up, realizing she zoned out again, “I just have a lot on my mind.” 

Kara nods in understanding, “do you want to talk about it?”

Lena shakes her head, “not really.”

“Are you sure? because I’m a very good listener,” she gives Lena a warm smile.

“I also give excellent advice,” she adds, “you can ask whoever you want. Except for Alex, but it’s not my fault she never listens.”

Lena chuckles. She considers it for a moment. She doesn’t really want to share all the details with Kara, no good can come from talking about your ex with the woman you are trying to woo, but maybe getting an outside perspective will help her clear her head. 

“I had a fight with Sam,” she starts, doubting how to continue. 

“She is the friend you worked with in Metropolis, right?” Kara asks “I thought you were excited she is in town, what happened?” 

Lena nods. “She...hid something from me. She did something behind my back, which was wrong on her part, but I think I might have overreacted when I found out. There is a part of me that just wants to let it go, but…”

“But you're still hurt.” There is an understanding in Kara’s eyes, and Lena is surprised by how well she can read her.

Kara’s face wears a thoughtful expression. 

“You should tell her that.”

“What?”

“Go to Sam and tell her how you feel. See if you can work things out.” 

“Now?”

Kara nods, “you are not going to get any work done anyway when you are that distracted. Also, most people’s workday ended at least three hours ago,” she informs her with a serious expression, and Lena thinks that maybe she has a point. 

_

Sam opens her hotel room door holding a family-size pack of Reese's, a clear sign that she is upset. 

“Hi,” she says, clearly surprised to see her standing there.

Lena lingers awkwardly by the door, unsure of what to do. 

“Do you want to come in?” 

She follows her inside. 

“Sorry about the mess, I wasn’t expecting company,”

Sam clears a chair for Lena to sit on, shoving clothes and toiletries out of the way, and claims a free corner of the bed for herself. 

“I’m sorry for the way I reacted last night,” Lena says after a long moment of silence, “I shouldn’t have left like that. You just caught me off guard.” 

Sam’s expression softens. “No, I’m sorry. I should have told you. It was stupid. I was so happy that I finally found us a good investor, that I finally have something to rub in Beth’s face, and I didn’t want anything to ruin that. So I convinced myself there is no point in telling you before I have an official offer, and then it just didn’t seem right to do this over the phone.”

“You know I would never let personal reasons stand in the way of business, right? You didn’t have to feel like you needed to keep this from me. I might have been mad at first, but I would have supported your decision.”

It’s important for her that Sam knows that. She is always going to be in her corner. 

Sam nods, looking apologetic. 

“If it makes you feel any better, I already kind of regret the whole thing. I forgot how insufferable Andrea can be.” 

It’s a transparent attempt to lighten the mood, but Lena finds she has no energy to stay angry anymore. 

“It kind of does,” a small smile stretches at the corner of her lips. 

Sam exhales, looking like a huge weight had lifted off her shoulders. 

“I hate fighting with you, let’s not do that ever again, okay?”

“Deal.”

“Now, how about that dinner?”

_

“So when am I finally going to meet your new girlfriend?” Sam asks after a few glasses of Italian wine. 

“She is not my girlfriend.” Lena corrects her, although she knows Sam is well aware of that fact. 

“Only because you are being dumb about it.” 

Lena ignores her.

“So when are you going to introduce us?”

“Never.”

“Afraid she is going to like me more than you?” Sam teases. 

Lena glares at her. 

“Hardly.“ 

Sam pretends to be offended. 

“I guess I can ask her if you can come to game night this week,” she says, “we are playing Charades.”

“Lena Luthor doing mime? That’s definitely something I need to see”

“Don’t make me regret it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coming up: Sam meets the gang, Andrea sticks around to cause drama, and perhaps a happy ending on the way for our girls (or a happy beginning 😊).
> 
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> for Suprcorp inspired poetry and more!


	8. Chapter 8

Like Lena anticipated, Sam and Kara immediately get along. Kara opens the door on Friday night with a giant smile and a plate of cookies (“Don’t worry I didn’t make them myself” she says to Lena’s questioning gaze), and Sam declares she likes her already. 

They are having a girls' night, since James is in Metropolis visiting his girlfriend, and Winn has other plans (that may or may not be a date) and Sam easily charms the room with spicy stories from their grad school days.

"I can't believe you know The Legends, Nia gushes, thankfully cutting Sam’s story about Lena's 21st birthday party before she gets to the really embarrassing part. 

(It involved Jack’s family yacht, too much alcohol, and a small wardrobe malfunction incident). 

“I’m so jealous, I watched them perform live a couple of months ago and it was absolutely mind-blowing. I wanted to interview them for our pride issue but their manager never answered my emails.” 

“Yeah, Ava can be a little uptight,” Sam chuckles, “but Sara and Lena go way back, I’m sure she would be willing to do her a favor if you still want that interview,” she winks. 

Lena’s face wears a deep shade of pink. She knew bringing Sam with her was a bad idea. 

“Sara and I went to boarding school together,” she clarifies when she sees Maggie’s raised eyebrow, but the woman only smirks. Kara, thankfully, seems completely oblivious. 

To the surprise of no one, Lena is terrible at Charades. She blames Lillian for banning any kind of make believe games when Lena was little. Or maybe Lex, who laughed at her when she told him she was thinking of joining the drama club at school (she joined the Robotic club and never looked back, but sometimes she wonders if she would have been happier if she made a different choice). She feels ridiculous, standing in the middle of Kara's living room with everyone’s eyes on her. Her note says The Lion King, and Lena manages to make Sam guess the “king” part by creating a crown with her hands, but she has no idea how to do the lion part. She is not supposed to roar, right? Feeling kind of foolish, she tries to pretend she has lion claws, but she must be doing a really bad job because Sam’s guess isn't even close (King Kong? really?). 

“It kind of looked like a lion,” Kara tries to comfort her when the other stops laughing, “Or maybe a really polite Cat.” 

Lena buries her face in her hands.

“It’s okay, you’ll get the hang of it,” Kara whispers later, low enough so only she can hear. Her breath is warm against Lena’s skin, and when their eyes meet, she can feel the confidence radiating from Kara’s gaze. Lena almost doesn’t mind when she and Sam end at the bottom of the chart. 

Nia is telling them about the latest development in the pizza guy saga when Sam’s phone rings. 

“Sorry, I have to take this,” she apologies, and Lena gets a glimpse of the image on her screen, a ridiculous picture of Andrea in a reindeer sweater and an unamused expression on her face. Sam must have taken it when they spent Christmas with her family (right before it all went to hell). 

It’s a little odd that she still has this picture on her phone (Did she have to sort through years of forgotten memories just to find it? Did she simply set this picture as Andrea’s contact image five years ago and never bothered to change it?). Lena doesn’t know what to make of it. 

Sam leans on Kara’s dining table, a small crinkle forming on her forehead as she listens to what Andrea has to say. Lena watches her laugh for whatever is said on the other line, fingers twirling in her hair absentmindedly, and there is an uneasy feeling in her gut like there is still something she is missing. 

Lena needs another drink. She gets up, although there is still a half-full wine bottle on the coffee table, and heads for the bottle of Macallan on the kitchen counter. Though she usually prefers it neat, she takes her time with it, looking in the fridge for ice, and mixing her drink in an expert motion. Lex would have complained she is ruining a perfectly good whiskey, but Lena isn’t really that picky, and it gives her an excuse to steal a few more moments to herself.

“Is everything okay?” Kara asks softly behind her. 

Lena nods, showing her her glass with a strained smile, “Just wanted something different.” 

Kara seems to accept her answer, but her fingers brush against Lena’s back for a brief moment, warm and grounding, before she takes another slice of pizza and heads back to the living room. Lena follows closely behind, and finds the armchair she was sitting on before is occupied by Alex, leaving her with no other option but taking the seat next to Kara on the couch (Alex and Sam wear matching mischievous grins). Lena wants to complain, because seriously, what are they, twelve? But then Kara yawns and uses her shoulder as a pillow, and Lena forgets why she thought this was a bad idea.

_ 

“Are you going back to Eliza’s?” Kara asks when Maggie declares she and Alex should probably get going, “I want to give her what's left of the garlic bread.” 

“You are just going to end up eating it yourself on Sunday” Alex teases, “but yeah, Maggie has an early shift and I don’t want to stay alone with her roommate and her creepy Cat all morning. I think he hates me.”

“The roommate?”

“The Cat.” 

Kara’s laugh is intoxicating. 

“You two should really get your own place.”

“If we could find something in our price range that isn’t a dump that would be great.”

Lena wonders if she might be able to help with that. The Luthors own a few buildings in the university area, though she doubts Alex and Maggie can afford any of the apartments there. But maybe if she makes a few calls... She makes a mental note to contact their management company on Monday and see what she can do. 

_

“You do realize she is crazy about you, right?” Sam asks when they are waiting for Lena’s driver to pick them up. 

She blushes "No she isn't.” 

“She couldn’t take her eyes away from you all night,” Sam points out. 

Lena rolls her eyes, “You are only seeing what you want to see,” but her stupid stubborn heart hangs on to Sam’s words. 

_

She wasn’t planning to call Andrea. While her apology gave her some closure, Lena is nowhere near ready to let go of her anger. But after a few days of listening to Sam’s reports about Andrea’s every move, it becomes clear that she can’t just go back to turning off her TV every time Obsidian’s commercial is playing. It took an intensive therapy session and a few nights of reminiscing on old memories for Lena to consider accepting Andrea’s olive branch, and a few more hours of staring at her phone before she dialed the number she knows by heart. 

The bar is one of the underground VIP places Lex used to frequent. It was never much of Lena’s style, but it’s the kind of place where you can have a high quality whisky and a promise for discretion. Two things she knows Andrea would appreciate.

Despite the early hour, it’s already crowded with B list actors, spoiled, rich brats, and what looks like an entire women basketball team, still in their jerseys, two of them are eyeing Lena curiously. She is nursing her second drink. It's half empty. But even with the liquid courage, she still wonders if this was a bad idea.

“I’m glad you called.”

Andrea approaches her hesitantly, her movements stiff and unsure. There is a Taylor Swift song playing in the background, a fact Lena is only aware of because Nia played her latest album on repeat that one time, and for a moment everything freezes. Lena is aware of everything at once, the beats of the music, the smell of fresh fries from the kitchen, the light chuckle of the girl two seats from her, the necklace on Andrea’s neck, a small gold medallion Lena got her for her 20th birthday. Her heart makes a surprised little sound. 

“You look good,” Andrea says when she realizes Lena isn’t going to speak any time soon, 

“being CEO suits you, I always knew you would make a great leader.” 

Lena keeps looking at her drink, too wrapped up in her inner turmoil to form a simple thank you. 

“Look, if you invited me here to sit in silence, I have other things to do,” Andrea huffs and begins to walk away. 

“Wait,” Lena calls after her. 

She flags the bartender and orders a glass of Andrea’s favorite whiskey. Andrea’s fingers close around the glass, her eyebrow slightly raised, but she obeys when Lena motions her to sit down. 

“Did you really mean it? when you said you miss me?” 

Andrea’s expression softens. 

“I did. I really am sorry about the way I left things between us. You deserved better.” 

Lena can feel her blood seething. “I loved you more than anything in the world, and you just left, like I meant nothing to you,” she spits out. 

“I know it doesn’t look like that, but I did it to protect you too, your mother-”

“I don’t care what she told you, you should have come to me, you should have given me a choice.” 

Andrea looks like Lena just punched her. 

“Maybe you are right,” she says in a tiny voice “maybe I was only thinking about myself. But I’m not the same person I was five years ago.”

She looks directly at her, her eyes begging for Lena’s trust. 

“I’m not asking for things to go back to the way they used to. As much as I wish they could, I know it’s not possible. But Spheerical isn’t the end of what we can offer to each other, I’d hate to see good business opportunities go to waste because we can’t act civil around each other. “

“I agree,” Lena finds herself saying, surprising both of them, “it would be foolish of us to let our past stand in the way of future partnership.”

This isn’t forgiveness. But maybe it’s a start. 

“I’m glad we are on the same page,” Andrea says, and raises her glass,

“To partnership.”

“To partnership” Lena echoes, pushing down her doubts. 

_

Eliza gives her the day off on Wednesday, insisting the new girl can handle the deliveries on her own and stating she is going to have to learn how to manage without her soon anyway. Kara still hasn’t told her she is thinking of not going to Argo in the spring. She can’t even be sure her spot is still saved at this point. She never answered their email. Or any of the three that followed. Maybe a day off is just what she needs to sort things out.

She spends the morning in the botanic garden, enjoying the sun and the pastries from the food cart. She even takes out her sketchbook and doodles some of the flowers she sees, something she hasn’t had the chance to do in a while, but as pleasant as it is, it does nothing to help with her decision.

It’s not that she isn’t excited about this opportunity. Following her parents' footsteps and going into botanic research was her dream for as long as she can remember. It’s just that the last time she embarked on a new adventure on her own, things didn’t exactly go smoothly. 

It was too soon after Astra, and Kara'd lost herself a little in an attempt to be anything other than the sad orphan girl who keeps losing everyone she loves. Then she went back home to blueberry pancakes and game nights, and long hours in the greenhouse, and slowly, the wounds started to heal. And if there is anything this experience taught her, is that she needs her people with her. Who does she have in Argo? All the people she loves are here in National City. Her friends are here. Her family is here. _Lena is here._

But she can’t rely on other people forever, can she? Alex might not even be here next year, depending on where she’ll do her internship. And the others will soon have their own lives and their own families and careers to deal with and they won’t always have time for game nights and late night conversations. And who knows, maybe she will find new people in Argo. Maybe she can create something that would be all _hers_. Or maybe they can do game nights over skype and have daily video calls and she won’t feel so alone this time around. 

Kara sighs, accepting the fact that she isn’t going to make a decision today either. She wipes the remains of the bear claw from her hands and gets up, making her way toward the exit. If she won’t catch a bus soon, she is going to be late for her lunch with Nia. 

She is already standing in line at Noonan's when Nia texts to let her know her hour off just got hijacked by a last minute editorial meeting. Kara wonders if she should just turn around and grab a pizza on the way home, or maybe actually cook something herself for a change (she went a little overboard with her take out budget the past few months) when she sees a familiar face. 

Lena sits at one of the tables with a laptop open in front of her and a look of concentration on her face. Kara is about to go and say hi when she sees she isn’t alone. The woman across from her looks awfully familiar. She is gorgeous, with long chocolate brown hair and bright blue eyes, and an air of confidence you can sense all the way across the room. Kara thinks she would have remembered meeting her before. Curious, she finds herself gravitating toward their table. She collides with a poor waitress a few seconds later, and her tray falls to the floor in a loud shattering sound. 

“I’m so sorry,” she tells the startled girl, “here, let me help.”

She begins to pick up the thankfully only slightly chipped glasses from the floor when Lena calls “Kara? what are you doing here?” 

Kara gets up, smoothing her skirt self consciously. 

"I was supposed to meet Nia, but she can’t make it."

“Is she okay?” Lena asks, concerned. 

“Yeah, just Newspaper stuff,” she explains, “more appetizers for me, I guess,” She says, with a strained smile. 

The other woman clears her throat, and Lena looks at her like she momentarily forgot who she is with. 

“Kara, this is Andrea Rojas, an... old friend of mine,” she introduces. 

At least now Kara knows why the woman looks so familiar. There is a billboard on the highway with her face on it. Her mouth feels suddenly dry. 

She offers Andrea her (slightly sweaty) hand, “It’s nice to meet you.”

Andra looks her up and down like she is trying to assess if she’s worth her time before she finally takes it with a polite smile.

“Likewise.”

“Why don’t you join us?” Lena offers, “Andrea and I are almost done with the business part anyway.” 

“I don’t want to interrupt,” she says, sensing Andrea’s piercing gaze. 

“Don't be ridiculous, you aren’t interrupting anything. Andrea doesn't mind, right?”

Andrea seems like she definitely does mind, but she puts on a sweet smile and says, “Of course not. As long as she stays away from my empanadas.” Her accent is thick at the last word, and there is something in the way she looks at Kara now that suggests she isn’t only talking about the food. 

“See?” Lena asks, and the plea in her eyes finally convinces Kara to sit down. 

_

It’s not that Kara hates Andrea Rojas. She barely even knows her. She could be a totally decent person as far as she knows. She must be if Lena likes her. But that’s the problem, isn’t it, as much as Kara tries to tell herself this isn’t the case. That her dislike of Andrea has everything to do with her condescending demeanor, and that stupid commercial she has to sit through every time she tries to watch a Youtube video, and nothing to do with the way her stomach swirls every time Lena mentions Andrea. 

It’s not that she is jealous. Lena is allowed to have other friends, and it’s not like she has anything to be jealous about. _Lena isn’t hers._ But there is this little monster in her belly that begs to differ, that wants to mark Lena with their teeth and whisper _mine, mine, mine,_ into her skin. 

Her mood only gets grimmer, when it becomes abundantly clear that Lena and Andrea were a thing in the past. Lena doesn’t volunteer any details, so Kara has to settle for old Twitter threads Nia sends her (seriously, since when is it okay to publicly speculate about the sexuality of two college students?), and the bits and pieces Alex gets from Sam, which isn’t much. All she manages to find is that they dated in college, and it didn’t exactly end on good terms, but they are trying to work things out. 

Logically, Kara knows it doesn’t really change anything, it’s not like the odds were in her favor before that. Andrea looks like just the kind of woman she imagines on Lena’s side. Powerful and rich and absolutely stunning and if Lena decides to give their relationship another chance, Kara should be happy for her. Right?

(The monster inside groans in disagreement). 

_

When Kara meets Alex and Maggie in the address Lena sent her, she knows immediately something is off. It’s a nice building, the kind with a lobby filled with potted plants and a doorman at the entrance, and Kara can picture Maggie and Alex living here, and getting their coffee in the morning from the bakery across the street, except they probably won’t be able to afford a place like this in a million years. 

“Are you sure this is the right address?” Alex asks for the millionth time. 

Kara reads the text (again) just to be sure. “Yep.”

“Well, she is a billionaire, maybe she doesn’t know what affordable means to most people.” Maggie offers.

“This is a waste of time,” Alex complains, “maybe we should go see that apartment on Kane street, I know it’s a little far from the underground, but a little morning exercise can be good for us, right?” 

That place also had mold all over the walls, but Kara thinks it’s probably safer not to mention it. 

“I trust Lena. She wouldn’t have sent you here if it was too expensive. You should at least take a look.” 

Maggie nods “I kind of want to see it anyway, see how fancy people are living,” she grins. 

“Fine” Alex groans, “but I’m telling you it’s a waste of time.” 

The apartment is perfect. There isn’t anything too fancy about it, to Maggie’s great disappointment, but the walls are freshly painted, and there is a working air conditioning, a bathtub, and even a little balcony with a view to the park. 

Kara almost can’t believe it when she hears the price. It’s not exactly cheap, but with Maggie’s salary and Alex doing some extra tutoring, they might be able to afford it. 

Maggie is clearly in love with the place and she wanders around with a dreamy expression, but there is a deep frown on Alex’s face. 

“Is that the price for all the apartments in the building?” she asks. 

“It’s actually much higher, usually,” the woman admits, but we were guided by the owner to lower the price in this particular case.” 

_

“What kind of game are you playing Luthor?”

Alex stormed into Lena’s office, a furious expression on her face.

“What?”

Alarmed, Lena wracks her brain in an attempt to figure out what she did to evoke this kind of fury.

“Are we some sort of charity case to you?”

Lena crosses her arms on her chest in defense.

“Is that about the apartment? Because I was just trying to do something nice. But if you don’t want to take it, fine, it was just an offer.” 

“You know, I actually liked you. You are certainly better than the last stray Kara brought home, I’d give you that, but if it turns out she was just some pet project to pass the time until your sexy CEO lady takes you back I swear to god-” 

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about your new girlfriend.”

“Andrea?” Lena asks, confused. “She isn’t- we aren’t- not that it's any of your business,” she snarls, angrily, “but we aren’t together.” 

“It’s my business if it hurts my sister.” Alex snarls back. 

“Why would it-” understanding dawns on Lena, “That’s why she was acting so weird.”

Suddenly it all makes sense. The tense lunch with Andrea. Why she seemed to close off every time Lena mentioned her. The way she’s been avoiding her lately. _Kara is jealous._ It’s immediately followed by the only logical conclusion- _Kara likes her_. The thought runs through her head, filling her veins like fuel. It isn’t a new revelation of course, apart from using her words, Kara had pretty much given her every possible signal to indicate how she feels toward her, but maybe Lena is finally ready to see the signs for what they are. 

“I’m sorry, I have to go.” She tells Alex, hastily grabbing her purse and jacket on her way out and telling a very confused Jess to cancel her next few meetings before she steps into the elevator. 

Behind her, Alex mutters something that sounds a lot like “fucking finally”.

_

Kara is in the middle of their weekly supply order (a duty Eliza was too happy to pass to her when Kara offered her help) when Lena walks in. She looks a little disheveled, with red cheeks and hair falling out of her high ponytail as if she was in a rush to get here. 

Instinctively, Kara can feel herself smiling. 

“Hi, what can I offer my favorite customer today?”

Lena isn’t looking at her. She is pulling at her fingers nervously, her eyes glued to the floor. 

“I want to order a bouquet,” she says eventually. 

That’s new. 

“Special occasions?” 

“Something like that. I… I want to ask someone on a date.”

Oh. Kara’s stomach sinks. 

“That’s great.” She forces herself to say, hoping she sounds genuine. “We have a few bouquets ready over there, if you want to take a look, see if there is something you like.”

“Actually, I’d like to choose the flowers myself, if that’s okay.” 

“Sure. As long as we have them here.”

Lena’s choice is unorthodox. Sunflowers aren’t exactly known as romantic, (though they are Kara’s favorites), but combined with lavender roses, the result is quite lovely. 

“Do you like it?” she asks, showing Lena the final product.

“It’s perfect.” 

Kara beams, trying to ignore the longing in her chest. Lena deserves the best, and so does whoever she chose to love. 

"Do you want to take it yourself, or use our delivery service?”

“Delivery.”

“What’s the address?”

“16 Hope Street. Apartment 4-A.”

It takes a few seconds for Lena’s words to register. 

“That’s my address.”

“I know.” 

Lena is holding her breath in anticipation of Kara's reaction.

“But I thought- Andrea-” 

“There is nothing between me and Andrea. It’s ancient history,“ she says earnestly.

“The flowers are for you.” Lena gives Kara a nervous smile, her heart hammering in her chest.

“You want to ask me out?” she asks, baffled. 

“I do.”

“But why?”

“That's what people usually do when they like someone.” 

“You like me?” 

There is a hopeful note to Kara's voice.

“Can’t you see how special you are? How can I not?” Lena reaches over the counter to touch Kara’s hand, fingers brushing lightly against her closed fist. 

“I know I should have said something sooner, but I was so terrified of losing you and I kept making excuses, and I’m really hoping I’m not ruining everything now because you mean so much to me, and if you don’t feel the same I promise I’d push down my feelings and never mention them again but I-”

“Lena,” Kara stops her rambling, a bright smile blooming on her face, “I like you too.” 

She opens her right hand to intertwine her fingers with Lena’s, and she lets out a quiet “oh”. 

“You know, no one ever bought me flowers before,” she admits. 

“Really?” 

It feels wrong that someone who appreciates flowers as much as Kara does, never got to have someone who speaks her love language. 

Kara nods. 

“I… I don’t have a lot of experience when it comes to dating. And I guess I thought it would be easier to just be your friend than admitting I want something more, but I think I want to try. No, I know I want to try if you still want that.”

Lena smiles, “Is that a yes?”

“On one condition.” Kara states, “since you did the whole asking me out thing, can you let me plan the date?”

“Sure. I’d just have to outdo you in the next one,” she says with a teasing grin.

Kara smiles brightly at her.

"Deal." 

It feels like a promise. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally! 😊 The idiots are going on a date.  
> Can you guess where Kara is going to take Lena?
> 
> As always a huge takes for my beta, who had to deal with my awkward sentences and numerous capitalization problems. 
> 
> Leave your love letters and complaints here or at-  
> [Tumblr](https://mayalice18.tumblr.com/)  
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/mayalice18)  
> [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/mayainwritingland/)  
> Also if you want a glimpse into my Superflowers inspiration board you can have it  
> [here.](https://www.pinterest.com/mayainwritingland/superflowers/)  
> Careful it's not spoilers free 😉


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's almost a week late, but happy belated valentine's day! This is my treat to you 😊

“I have nothing to wear.”

Even with her back to her phone, Lena can sense Sam rolling her eyes. And, okay, if they are being technical, she does, in fact, have clothes she can wear, but none of them are appropriate for a casual brunch date.

The fact that Kara refuses to tell her where she is taking her also doesn’t help, and when she texts to let her know she is going to need comfortable shoes, Lena feels completely out of her element. 

She knows her anxiety isn’t rational. She’s already hung out with Kara plenty of times, and as Cat assures her, the sky won’t fall if she picks the wrong outfit. (Lillian isn't here to scold her and send her back to her room to change into something more presentable). But still, this is their first real date. She can’t exactly show up in the same clothes she wore for their last game night. 

Used to Lena’s tendency for drama, Sam keeps the teasing to a minimum and gives her a link to a Pinterest board with a few outfit suggestions and a promise to come shopping with her. (She is too grateful to be alarmed by the fact that she names it “Karlena first date”, and from the number of pictures in it, looks like she has been working on it for quite some time. Nia might have helped).

Lena always hated shopping. She hasn’t seen the inside of a mall in years, and though she hasn’t hyperventilated in a dressing room since her late teens, it is still one of her least favorite activities, right along with her weekly therapy sessions and dinners with Lillian. 

It goes… less terribly than Lena expected. She meets Sam early the next morning, hoping to avoid a big crowd (she can already picture the article: “Lena Luthor’s fashion dilemma”, and the aneurysm Lillian would have when she sees it). 

Sam piles their shopping basket with a little bit of everything, throwing in a few dresses for herself as well. (She blushes when Lena inquires what’s the special occasion and says they are on sale). 

They head for the dressing rooms, and after double-checking the lock on the door, Lena takes a deep breath and undresses. This has always been the hardest part. Being stuck in a closed space with no choice but to look at her reflection and notice every fold and stretch mark tend to make her feel fifteen all over again. She didn’t exactly follow her diet lately, with all the lunch dates and leftover potstickers, and while she has a much healthier relationship with her body now, she knows how easy it is to fall into old thinking patterns.

The first dress she tries on is way too formal. The second one is too tight and Lena has a moment of panic when she struggles to take it off. Even in a size up, it still doesn’t sit quite right. Sam says she looks great when she steps out of the dressing room, but all Lena can see is the unflattering way it clings to her body, highlighting everything she wishes to hide, and the dress finds its way to the “no” pile. She doesn’t find anything she feels comfortable in until Sam hands her a pair of simple black trousers, that fits her like a second skin. She looks a little too much like she is heading to a board meeting, but she feels powerful and sexy and paired with the right blouse, perhaps one that shows a little bit of cleavage, she can make it work. 

The shoes are the real problem. Apart from a few pairs of Nike she uses exclusively for the gym, Lena doesn’t own any flat shoes. Thankfully, Sam has an answer for that too, and she reminds her about the pair of Oxfords she bought on their trip to Paris. They have a moderate heel, but assuming Kara isn’t taking her hiking, she should be comfortable enough. 

The final look is fairly simple. It’s definitely a step down from her usual evening attire, but a few steps up the oversize sweater she wore to their last movie night, so it’s a nice balance. She keeps her hair down and sticks with light makeup, and when she takes a picture and sends it to Sam, she answers with three fire emojis, and “Andi says you look good too,” which is a whole can of worms Lena is choosing to ignore for the time being. 

Kara insists on picking her up, although Lena reminds her she has a car and a driver on speed dial. She arrives at her door two minutes early, carrying a small bouquet of daisies. It’s the first time she is here, and she is taking in her surroundings while Lena looks for a vase. 

“I see Mr. Plant is still hanging in there,” she comments, looking at the Peace Lily on her bookcase with a proud smile. Warmth spreads in Lena’s stomach when she is reminded of their first few meetings. 

“Well, I had a great teacher.” 

It comes out a little too flirtatious than she intended and there is definitely some redness to Kara’s cheek that wasn’t there before. A part of Lena wants to stay there and see what else she can do to make Kara blush. Like reaching to fix the collar of her blue striped button-down, and perhaps letting her fingers trail a little to the exposed skin of her neck. Or maybe lean in to whisper in her ear how gorgeous she looks today. But Kara’s excitement to start their day together is infectious, and there is the promise of coffee and scones in the car. There will be time for these sorts of things later, she supposes.

Lena expects Kara to lead her to her familiar pink Van, but the door she is opening for her belongs to a vintage Chevrolet that would have made Lex drool.

“It's Eliza’s,” Kara explains. “I thought you would appreciate something nicer than the Van. Also, Alex spilled a whole bag of fertilizer in there last week and the smell still hasn’t come out, so there is that too.” 

She starts playing with the old radio as soon as she starts the car until an upbeat country song starts playing. She glances at Lena, as if to ask if it’s okay, and beams when she nods in approval. She isn’t really a country music kind of person, but the look on Kara’s face is endearing, and when she starts singing Lena knows she made the right choice. 

The coffee is a little cold, but Lena is grateful to have something to do with her hands. She can’t really trust herself not to act on pure instinct and do something that would certainly make it hard for Kara to concentrate on the road, which would be unfortunate, since it turns out Kara Danvers is a horrible driver. 

She barely pays any attention to her mirrors when she slides out of their parking spot, and Lena has to cling to her coffee cup to keep it from spilling every time she makes a turn. Thankfully, the roads are clear this time of day, and Lena exhales with relief when they reach their destination in one piece. 

National City Botanic Garden hasn’t been high on Lena’s list of guesses, but knowing Kara it also isn’t really a surprise. 

“I can’t believe you’ve never been here,” she tells Lena, her face wearing the same expression they had when she admitted she’d never watched Grease. 

“Growing up my father was always away on business, and my mother isn’t very big on family activities unless they end with a trophy,” she explains, “I had a nanny that took me to the zoo or to the park sometimes, but I was shipped off to boarding school as soon as I was old enough.”

Kara’s voice is a little extra cheerful when she declares it’s a good thing she has the best tour guide. 

“My parents took me here all the time when I was little. Almost every weekend.” 

There is a wistful expression on Kara’s face. 

“I like to come here when I need to think. Or when I want to feel close to them.”

Touched by the fact that Kara wanted to bring her to a place that means so much to her, Lena laces their fingers together and gives her hand a light squeeze,

“Show me around?” 

_

Lena immediately gets why Kara loves this place so much. It’s beautiful. Bright and green and colorful, like something out of a postcard. She's never seen so many plants in one place. There are some she recognizes, but many others she never encountered before and she enjoys listening to Kara’s explanations. Usually, they come with a little anecdote, like how she used to think a Cobra lily is a real snake, or how she was disappointed when she found out there were no puppies in the Poppy garden, and Lena falls a little bit more in love with her. 

”Sorry, I tend to get carried away when I talk about plants,” she says after a particularly long ramble. “It used to drive Alex crazy. It didn’t make me exactly popular at school. ” 

“Don’t be, I love that you are passionate about something. And it's actually kind of interesting.”

“Yeah?” Kara asks bashfully.

“Well, I wasn’t very popular at school either. Just wait until you hear me talk about robots.”

Kara finds it hard to believe. She can’t imagine not wanting Lena in her life. 

“I wish I knew you then. I bet we would have gotten along.” 

Lena’s face looks wistful.

“Yeah, me too.”

_

When Kara’s stomach starts to rumble, Lena suggested it’s time they head in the direction of the restaurant. 

It's a little early for lunch, and the sign at the door says the place is still closed, but it doesn’t seem to stop Kara, who waltzes straight in, Lena following cautiously behind. 

“Kara!” Someone calls in a thick accent before the door even closes behind them. A middle aged woman jumps from behind the counter and wraps Kara in a bear hug. 

Lena’s shoulders relax. Looks like they aren’t trespassing. 

“Hi Rosy it’s good to see you too,” Kara says with some effort, struggling to breathe under the woman’s embrace. 

Rosy lets her go, proceeding to examine her appearance like a mother hen.

“You look a little pale. Are you eating alright? How are you? How is Eliza?” 

“You know eating is my favorite activity.” Kara flashes her a bright smile, “And I’m good. Eliza too. She is back to work actually.” 

“That’s wonderful.”

Rosy seems to notice Lena’s presence then. 

“And who is your lady?” she asks with a tilted eyebrow. 

“Lena, this is Rosy, the best chef in National City.”

“Liar," Rosy protests, "you never write about me on that Instagram of yours.” but there is a note of fondness to her voice.

“That’s because you didn’t take my suggestion to start selling Potstickers.” Kara pouts. Lena has a feeling it’s not the first time they are having this conversation. 

“It’s nice to meet you,” she tells Rosy.

The woman takes both of Lena’s hands, her eyes warm and welcoming. 

“You too, Lena” 

“Do you want the usual?” she asks Kara, “we are not technically open for another twenty minutes, but for you, I can make an exception. Just pick a table and I’d have Albert set it for you.”

“Actually, I think we will have a to-go order, it’s pretty nice outside. Unless you prefer eating here?” she turns to Lena in question. 

“Outside sounds good.”

“Bellissimo. I have the Ravioli and Lasagna ready, but the bread needs a few more minutes in the oven. Do you want anything else?” 

Lena shakes her head. Knowing Kara’s eating habits, her usual order is probably enough for five people. True to her character, Kara asks to add three tiramisu slices and five cannoli bites, and Rosy nods in approval and disappears back into the kitchen. 

“She is... nice,” Lena says, in lack of a better term. 

Kara seems to understand what she means. “She is… Rosy. I’ve known her since I was five. You’ll get used to it.”

Somewhere in Lena’s stomach, the butterflies spread their wings with the implication of a future with Kara. 

Their food is ready a few minutes later and Rosy throws some breadsticks into their bags for good measure and sends them on their way.

Kara takes Lena to her favorite spot in the garden. A small gazebo that watches over the lake. The whole thing is awfully romantic. There are swans swimming around, and beautiful water flowers, and somewhere under the new layer of paint they put a few years ago, her parents' initials are still engraved in the wood. Kara used to wish for someone special she could share it with. She watches Lena taking it in, green eyes wide with awe, and there are a dozen love poems at the tip of her tongue. 

They eat and they talk, and Lena lets her have the last breadstick, and Kara is pleasantly surprised by how comfortable it is. She was afraid taking their relationship into this brand new territory would mean they would have to find their rhythm all over again. But it doesn’t feel like anything drastic has shifted between them. If anything, with their feelings out in the open, there is a new sense of ease to the way they move around each other. 

It doesn't feel like a first date. And maybe it's because it isn't. Maybe they already had their first date months ago. They already shared their favorite music to listen to and where they see themselves in five years. They already spent lunches and movie nights and brutal trivia contests together. They already fumble through their beginning, and Kara can't help but feel excited for whatever comes next.

When she takes a huge bite from her lasagna and tomato sauce drips all over her chin, Lena reaches out to wipe it with her napkin, fingers lingering on her skin for just long enough to send waves of electricity down Kara's spine.

Kara gets her own chance to make Lena blush when she crosses into her personal space to pull out a leaf from Lena's hair. The way Lena's breath hitches makes her hot all over, her parted lips pink and kissable, and Kara's body moves on its own and starts closing the distance between them. 

A loud “quack” from behind makes her pull away. Two ducks are heading toward them, eyeing their takeout bags curiously. 

A hysterical laugh escapes Kara's throat and a moment later, Lena joins her. 

They give Happy and Dopey some of the leftover bread and take the rest with them to the lake. Lena raises an eyebrow when she hears the names Kara chooses for their intruders, but she watches her curiously as she feeds the other birds, and eventually takes some of the bread Kara offers her. She shrieks when one of the swans tries to take the bread straight out of her hand, but her eyes are sparkling with joy, and Kara had never seen her this happy and free. It's a nice look on her. 

Kara doesn't want the day to end. They stay in the park until closing hours, stopping to appreciate every single tree and greenhouse. They walk back to the car with their hands intertwined, and Kara's jacket draped over Lena's shoulders. (She says she isn’t that cold, but Kara can see her shaking slightly, and there is a grateful smile on her lips when Kara hands it to her).

She isn't sure what the protocol is when she is parking outside Lena's apartment building. Should she walk her back to her door? Should she hug her goodbye and drive away? Should she kiss her? 

Lena saved her from making a decision and asks if she wants to come over for a cup of coffee. 

"I bought the cocoa powder you keep in your place, so it can also be a hot chocolate," she adds hopefully when Kara takes her time with her answer. 

Her heart flutters with how sweet and thoughtful it is, even if completely unnecessary. (She would have agreed to come over for a Kale smoothie if it means she gets to spend more time with Lena). 

Lena’s apartment looks like it was taken straight out of a catalog. Kara gets the impression every piece of furniture was specially picked by an over-eager interior designer, who made sure everything is perfectly color-coordinated, from the couch to the espresso machine and silverware on the kitchen counter. 

Much like her office, the overall look is a little impersonal. Lena made some effort to make the place look more lived in, with her ever-growing house plants collection and some cozy-looking couch pillows, but it couldn’t be more different than Kara’s mismatching furniture and coffee-stained carpet. The kitchen is so clean it can star in a dish soap commercial for crying out loud. 

“I only have low-fat milk, I hope that’s okay.”

Kara nods. Normally she would have her hot chocolate with extra sugar and whipped cream, but she is willing to make the sacrifice. 

There is an awkward silence as they wait for the milk to steam. Kara feels suddenly nervous. She’s never been to someone's apartment after a date before (Mike's dorm room doesn’t really count) and she isn’t sure what Lena’s expectations are. Yes, Lena had been to her place multiple times at this point, but this feels different somehow. The air around them is loaded with tension. From the other side of the kitchen, Lena is staring at her with something that looks like hunger, and Kara’s own desire makes itself known. It would be so easy to take a step closer and wrap her hands around Lena’s waist, so easy to press their bodies together and catch Lena’s lips with her own. But Kara remains glued to her spot.

She never kissed a woman before, and the idea of it feels daunting all of a sudden. Like an Everest she isn’t quite ready to climb. She dedicated quite some time to the idea of kissing women in the past, has spent many classes daydreaming about her latest girl crush, but the opportunity never presented itself until now, and what if Lena realizes how embarrassingly inexperienced she is and decides it’s not for her? 

Barefoot and standing on her tiptoes to reach the mugs on the top shelf, Lena is a sight to behold, and Kara feels completely out of her league. She is still waiting for the other shoe to drop, for Lena to decide she doesn’t want her like _that_ after all. The thought makes her stomach swirl. She doesn’t know if she can take another loss. 

“Did you know It takes 5 years for a cocoa tree to produce its first seed pods?” she finds herself asking in an attempt to ease the tension in her chest.

If Lena finds her choice of small talk weird, the only indication is a slightly tilted eyebrow.

“Actually I think I’ve read it somewhere.” 

Kara scratches her mind for another fact “Did you know the scientific name _Theobroma cacao_ means food of the gods in greek?” 

Lena shakes her head and fires a question of her own, “Did you know they used real chocolate and cream to make the chocolate river in Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory?” 

Kara gapes, “Really?” 

There is a small self satisfied smirk at the corner of Lena’s lips, pleased to know something Kara doesn’t. 

“I learned it in one of my chemistry classes. It started smelling bad after a few days, so when they made the 2005 film they hired a team of chemists to create a product that looks like liquid chocolate. It didn’t taste as good though”

They keep going for a while longer, exchanging more and more bizarre facts, and by the time their hot chocolate is ready the knot in Kara’s stomach loosened. 

“Do you want to see if Mamma Mia is on Netflix?” she asks, bringing them into more familiar territory. They already went through most of Kara’s list of must-watch movies, but she kept the musicals for last, and this is one of her favorites. 

There is a surprise on Lena’s face like she can’t quite believe Kara still wants her company. 

“Sure.” 

_

They ended up cuddled under one blanket on Lena’s couch, Kara singing loudly with the TV as she rubs her back in gentle circles. Lena doesn’t want her to leave. Her phone is buzzing on the coffee table, alerting her of dozens of urgent emails she needs to attend to, but she wants to stay in this moment for a little while longer, wants to bask in the feeling of Kara’s warmth for as long as she can. 

She waits until the end of the movie before she checks her messages, groaning when she realizes they have a PR crisis that needed her attention two hours ago. 

She walks Kara to the door, and they stand in the hallway for a long, charged moment. Lena’s eyes fall to Kara’s lips, and she thinks back on their interrupted moment in the lake. Her body tenses with anticipation, but before she is able to make a move Kara wraps her in an affectionate hug. It’s a really nice hug. The kind that makes her feel like she is bathing in sunlight, but Lena’s nerves (especially the one connected to her lower body) still hums in disappointment. 

_

It’s been two weeks, three days, and eight hours since their date, and Kara still hasn’t kissed her (not that Lena is counting). Lena can tell that she wants to from the way her eyes drop to her lips every time they say goodbye, but something is stopping her and she settles for a more platonic gesture every single time.

Lena doesn’t think much of it at first. After all, they’ve only been to one official date. Maybe Kara just prefers taking things slow. It feels a little juvenile to get all hyped up over hand holding and forehead kisses, but she has to admit there is also something incredibly sweet about it. They clearly have something good going on, and Lena enjoys their growing emotional connection, feeling more and more attached to Kara with every little thing they learn about each other. But as time goes by, her insecurities start to take over. It’s a little early for asking where this relationship is going, but sometimes Lena can’t be sure this is even a relationship. They still do the same sort of things they did before, lunches and game nights and occasional dinners. Even the sweet texts Kara sends her, or the flowers she drops by are nothing new. 

Cat emphasizes the importance of communication, especially in these early stages,

but Lena doesn’t want to ruin things. She doesn’t want to press or make Kara uncomfortable by putting her on the spot. She also can’t help but wonder if the problem is her. What if Kara doesn’t find her attractive enough? What if she realized it’s a bad idea to get romantically involved with a Luthor? What if she isn’t sure about her? She tries to push these thoughts to the side, but they keep creeping in, bubbling under her skin like a volcano ready to explode. 

Lena is having a bad day. She had to fire one of her favorite interns for selling confidential information to Hamilton Dynamics, and she spent most of her day putting down fires and dealing with Lillian’s disapproval with the way she handled things. The only thing that keeps her sane is knowing she is going to see Kara tonight for Winn’s birthday celebration. 

She meets her at the entrance to Al’s bar, pressing a light kiss to the corner of her mouth, which is the closest she got so far to actually kissing her, and Lena’s stomach flutters in response. Kara wraps her arm around her, navigating her through the crowd, and Lena already starts to feel lighter. 

She doesn’t mean to get drunk. Usually, Lena is much better at holding her liquor, but she didn’t get the chance to eat anything but coffee today, and the shots Nia orders are stronger than she thought. She is just lightly buzzed at first, nuzzling sleepily into Kara’s shoulder, but she makes the mistake of crossing the line into a sad drunk a few rounds later. 

Kara is kicking Winn’s ass at air hockey and as she jumps up and down in victory, her shirt raids slightly up to reveal her toned abdomen. Lena clutches her glass a little too hard, overcomes with the urge to drag Kara somewhere private for a different kind of celebration. Except she can’t. Because every time she tries to initiate anything like that Kara finds an excuse to pull away, and Lena wishes she would just tell her what’s wrong instead of continuing this awkward little dance. 

She gets up abruptly, mumbling something about needing air to whoever listens, and stumbles outside. 

She forgot her jacket, but the freezing night air calms her burning skin and helps to clear the fog from her mind. 

Kara comes looking for her a few minutes later, her brow wrinkled in worry.

“Are you ever going to kiss me?” Lena asks when she approaches her. 

Kara is taken aback by her question. She doesn’t seem hurt, but she doesn’t quite meet Lena’s gaze either and the nausea that washes over her has nothing to do with how much she drank.

“I-” Kara starts, opening and closing her mouth like a fish. 

Lena feels like crying. 

“If you don’t want this- if you have second thoughts, it’s fine, I get it. I’m a Luthor. Why would you want to be with someone like me? But at least have the decency to tell me instead of whatever it is that’s going on.” 

Some of her words are slightly slurred, but the messages seem to come across, and Kara’s eyes widen. “No! God Lena, how can you think that?” she asks earnestly, reaching to wipe the tears from her eyes. 

“I don’t care who your family is. I only care about you. And you are pretty damn incredible. How can I not want this?” 

Lena lets out something between a laugh and a whine. 

Kara kisses her forehead. “Can we talk about it in the morning, after you sober up?”

She nods. 

“Good. Now, can we go back inside? My fingers are falling off.”

_

Kara can’t sleep. Every time she closes her eyes she sees the broken expression on Lena’s face. They barely even started dating and she is already screwing things up. And the worst part is that she doesn’t even know what’s holding her back from kissing Lena. First, it was just nerves, but the more she postponed the moment, the more daunting it felt. She didn’t want to kiss Lena just to check it off her to-do list. Lena deserves better than this. They both do. She was just waiting for the right time. Except it never came. Kara groans in frustration. She wished she would have just kissed Lena that day in the lake when she still got the courage. 

She knows Alex would mook her relentlessly if she asks her for advice, which means calling Maggie isn’t an option either. Checking her watch, Kara calls the only other person she knows she can always turn to with these kinds of issues. 

Kelly answers her on the second ring. It’s already late morning on her side of the line, and Kara can hear voices around her and hopes she isn’t interrupting. Not that Kelly would ever tell her if she is. 

“Hi, Kara, how are you?” Kelly asks like she is used to getting calls from her at three in the morning. Her voice is warm and soothing, and Kara is overwhelmed by how much she misses her. 

“I’m fine. How are you? How is grad school going?” 

“It’s challenging, but it’s going well so far. But I’m assuming you didn’t call me on however late it is at your end just for small talk,” she says, voice free of judgment. 

_Busted._ Kara feels her face flashes. She hates being the kind of friend who only calls when she needs something. She should have called to check in more, but she had other things on her mind lately. At least she knows Kelly is too kind to hold this against her. 

“Kara?” Kelly asks gently when Kara doesn’t respond. 

“I was hoping to get your advice,” she says after a few more minutes of silence. 

“I’m listening.” 

Kara fiddles with her glasses. “Did James tell you I started seeing someone?” 

“He might have mentioned something.” 

“I think I messed up. I... made her think I have second thoughts about dating her.” 

“Do you?” Kelly asks. 

“No! She is amazing. She is so beautiful and smart, and she has this sweet little smirk and the worst Charades skills I’ve ever seen, and gosh, I still can’t believe she is even real.”

“Sounds like you like her.” She can hear the smile in Kelly’s voice. 

“I do. I really do. I don’t think I ever felt like that before,” she admits. 

“So what’s the problem?”

“I might have got cold feet every time we were about to kiss.” 

Kelly hums in understanding. 

“Do you think it’s because she is a woman?” she inquires gently. 

Kelly was one of the first people Kara confided with when she had her first crush on a girl, and she spent many nights with Kelly stroking her hair, and telling her how she felt was completely normal. 

Kara doesn’t think that’s the issue. While she is certainly nervous about the idea of dating a girl for the first time, it’s mostly the good kind of nerves. 

“Well, if this isn’t the case, I’ll take an educated guess and say kissing her is going to make your relationship feel more real, which means there is a real potential for things not to work out that way you hope.”

Putting it like that, it does make a lot of sense. Unfortunately, she has no idea how to fix it.

Kelly advises her to communicate, and make sure Lena knows her insecurities have nothing to do with her. She also tells her to try to enjoy what she has now, and not worry too much about the future, but that’s easier said than done. 

“I feel like you should probably charge me for this conversation,” Kara jokes. 

“You know I’m always happy to listen.” Even before Kelly decided on a career in psychology, she was the one everyone in their group turned to for advice.

“I have to go to class, but I’m looking forward to an update, and I’d love to tell you all about the cool experiment I’m helping with.”

“Sounds great.” 

_

Lena wakes up to a pounding headache and a daunting feeling of humiliation. She vaguely remembers getting home last night, asking her driver to keep the windows open and avoid road bumps as much as he can. She barely had any energy to change into sleep clothes, and after she texts Kara to let her know she got home okay, she falls asleep almost immediately. 

_Kara._ Dread fills Lena’s stomach. She shouldn’t have said anything last night. She was drunk and upset, and it’s hardly the version of her she wants Kara to see. She knows Kara (sweet, compassionate Kara) won’t hold it against her, but it doesn’t make it okay. 

By the time Kara knocks on her door with coffee and bear claws she swears are the perfect cure for a hangover, Lena already showered and swallowed some Advil, and she feels slightly more prepared to face her. 

“Can we just pretend that last night never happened?” she asks hopefully. 

“No.” It comes out a little forcefully and Kara blushes. “I mean yes, If that’s what you want, but I think I owe you an explanation.” 

“You really don’t have to-” 

“No. It’s fine, I want to,” Kara insists. 

“You don’t need to explain yourself to me, I just got a little insecure, which was absolutely not your fault. You are allowed to have your boundaries. If you want to take things slow, or even if you are not into kissing at all, I’m okay with that. I’m fine with whatever you are comfortable wi-” The feelings of Kara’s lips on hers prevent her from completing her sentence. 

For a moment, gravity ceases to exist, time and space don’t matter anymore and the only force Lena is willing to acknowledge is the feeling of Kara’s soft lips. Her whole body feels like it’s on fire. Kara is clearly done holding back, and she presses Lena against the kitchen island, fingers laced through her hair as their mouths continue to collide in a perfectly synchronized rhythm. 

They part after what seems like an eternity, and Kara opens her bright blue eyes and looks at Lena with a dreamy expression. 

“I’m definitely into kissing,” she says like her demonstration wasn’t enough to prove it. 

Lena pulls her into another messy kiss. “I’m glad we covered that.”

“This is new to me,” Kara says quietly. “I… I only had one other relationship, and it didn’t last very long, and for the longest time, I thought I was never going to have that. That I’ve missed my chance. That I’m too broken. But then you came along and never in a million years I thought you would look in my direction, so when you did, it felt too good to be true and I guess I was scared that If I try to take it any further you would see…”

“See what?”

Kara bites her lips, her gaze glued to the floor. 

“That I’m nothing special. That I have too much baggage. That I’m not worth it.“

Lena’s stomach sinks. She wishes there was a way to make Kara see how incredible she is. 

“You are special to me,” she says, taking Kara’s hand and raising it to her lips, giving her fingers a light kiss.

“Do you have any idea how amazing you are? I’m so incredibly lucky that you thought I was worthy of your attention.” 

“Yeah?” there is a shy smile at the corner of Kara’s lips, and Lena nods before kissing it as well. 

“Kara Danvers, you are the best thing that has happened to me this year. You have no idea how much sunshine you brought into my life, and I’m looking forward to getting to know every little part of you. Even the not so sunny parts.” 

Kara cups Lena’s cheek and pulls her for another kiss, hope blooming in her chest. 

(The coffee is cold by the time they get to it). 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *While Kara and Lena definitely mean well by giving the bread to Happy and Dopey and their little brothers, bread isn't an appropriate food for ducks and can have a bad effect on their health. So if you want to keep your local bird friends safe and healthy, don't give them bread or any other food that isn't good for them 🦆
> 
> Thanks to isa-help for helping with this chapter and listening to me change my mind a thousand times 🥰
> 
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